#1
Independant. Happy. Free.

The trees and wind signal that the world is blooming into life, and I'm left here
wishing I could impersonate nature; reborn annually instead of living a dull existance
that stretches an eternity. But all of the similies and metaphors on the topic have
butchered nature's meaning, and any reference to it sounds like some random poetic attempt
at complexity, fooling no one and leaving words my desolate, nothing more than mockeries.

So let me start by saying that I'm easily not who I used to be, that person is gone.
I found a new kind of past-time in these recent months, a daily stress that dwarfs former
problems and concerns, a kind of lackluster conclusion to a half-written story. Depression?
No no, too simplistic a term. It's more than that. It's hope, compassion, genuine love.
It's scattered feelings that I can't name, the ones that lurk beneath and haunt decisions.

I've come to see all too well that hope should never be placed on only one support, yet here
I am again with everything crushing a single foundation. And when it starts to crumble and
break, and give way to reality, it comes as such a surprise. But any architect could point
out these common errors with simple science. Why do we insist on clutching to one thing
above all else? The least realistic or attainable aspirations are those that enthrall our goals.

But who cares, really? It's just a list that's been thrown together with apprehension
to the future. But it is everything, and it is now. It is all I have to focus on, and
of course it couldn't be a positive longing. It used to be, dreaming for the day of making
my way mile by mile to your town. Independant. Happy. Free. Words that I haven't used in a
while, not in my writing, or vocabulary in general. They've been robbed from me.

The truth is I realise that in saying this, I mend none of the problems I face, yet I feel
compelled to. Why is it so tempting? Distorting issues? A plain and courageous truth?
Or just my problems embodied in text, so that I can review them and understand better my
situation. Or am I reaching out to some stranger who will randomly read through this and
cast their opinion? I don't know the answer, but it seems redundant. A waste of time.

Independant. Happy. Free. Words that I haven't used in a while, not in my writing, or
vocabulary in general. They've been robbed from me. Oh, what a travesty, a travesty indeed..
Last edited by Until_it_sleeps at May 9, 2006,
#2
it's very poetic, i like it. but is it a song or a poam. i like this line especialy "I've come to see all too well that hope should never be placed on only one support"
#5
Ah, prosetry from the Great Gay North. Good to see that numerous bannings and a lack of any writing talent whatsoever can't keep Mr. Jez from these forums .

Nice writing, but it lacks a real resolution, or so it seems. 'tain't bad, just a little meandering and inconclusive.
-Landon
#6
Your words never cease to encourage me Landon. Thanks, and yeah, it doesn't really accomplish anything, I'll try and fix that next time. Thanks.