#1
ok... a poem. not really song-like so im just keeping it as a poem.

id like to hear comments about what you think of the writing.

but please, none about the strange structure/rhyme scheme. i know its not perfect but i didnt try to make it so.

thanks in advance for any feedback, i will try to get back to you on your writing as well....


i can still see memories exactly as they were
i dont i could forget those profound words
from the posterboard prophecies
spelling the truth

its hard to believe the way things are changing
as everyones life has been re-arranging
and what really matters is lost in the mess
of growing up

its a slow painful process watching us go
to the separate paths of the lives that we chose
and is there enough to keep us linked somehow?
sometimes i doubt it...

you live so far away so far across the sea
were victims of circumstance and always may be
and we could be separate for all of our lives
never to meet again....

the pointless hopes and vows of writing once a week wont last
once every 7 days isnt enough life moves too fast
so everyday i think ill just devote a little time
to memories

so I sign this postcard with farewell
ill never write again
i wont bother you
cause the ocean blue
is distance far too great....
Member #57 of The Weezer Fan Club
#2
There's some stuff in here that I would change or arrange differently, but that's just me. I really like this, but not as much as I like the idea behind it.
#4
I wouldn't change anything personally. I like the story behind it, I thought it flowed well too. good job
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#5
AAAWWW!!!!!!!! That's so sad!!! I hate the way long distance relationships never work out. I quit those a LONG time ago. I love the story behind the poem.