#1
New song. Please crit.


Life's too short

intro:You're always thinkin about the future
and what you're supposed to do
you're always thinkin about whats ahead of you
but in the long run you loose

verse:Just take a breath
and drift away
you'll find out i am right
and you'll know what to say

Chorus: Life is too short
It goes too damn fast
just live dammit live
and let this feeling last

Verse: Don't let people tell you what to do
figure things out on your own
they don't have a clue because its you its you
Just have fun and make it last long

Chorus:Life's too short
It goes to fast
Just live dammit live
and let this feeling last

(guitar solo)

Outro:Life's too short
for them to decide
take a little hint
and let it all ride
Life's too short
Life's too short
Life is too short
~gtrfrk


founder of the dunlop pick fan club


RIP Roger "Syd" Barrett


"Let the good times roll"
Last edited by gtrfrk123 at May 13, 2006,
#2
thats really good i love it the only thing i dont lik (which i dont like on many songs) is at the end where it repeats "life's too short" but i think its becouse im readying it and not singing it cuz i dont know the tune so just dont bother about what i said about that lol
always ME!
#3
Quote by punks4life69
thats really good i love it the only thing i dont lik (which i dont like on many songs) is at the end where it repeats "life's too short" but i think its becouse im readying it and not singing it cuz i dont know the tune so just dont bother about what i said about that lol



thank you for the crit. Now that i look at it i think i should change the end where it repeats.
~gtrfrk


founder of the dunlop pick fan club


RIP Roger "Syd" Barrett


"Let the good times roll"
#4
thanx for taking my advice into concideration. it might sound better in a song but just reading it...it sounds weird
always ME!
#5
Good job, man!
I like the entire song and its them, especially the chorus
live dammit just live!
crit for crit?
mine is here
#6
loose

It's "lose"

I dunno, this seems really, really, bland to me... You're just telling us ****, and frankly, it doesn't tell us anything NEW, and it doesn't present it in a unique way. You spoon feed us your ideas. No one wants to hear that.(Well, apparently SOME people do, but...) My advice is to read the Lyrics Tips thread, they'll give you ideas on how to present your OWN ideas more originally.

Keep writing.

-James
#7
Where it says

Life's too short
it goes too fast

I think you should lengthen that to fit the last 2 lines (this is how it went in my head, anywyas, you might have had a different tune in your head or something)

Maybe

Life is too short
It goes by too damn fast

Just a thought. Good work though.
Quote by NAME GOES HERE


Did you see what I did there? I made fun of his mom!
#9
Quote by live 4 guitar
Where it says

Life's too short
it goes too fast

I think you should lengthen that to fit the last 2 lines (this is how it went in my head, anywyas, you might have had a different tune in your head or something)

Maybe

Life is too short
It goes by too damn fast

Just a thought. Good work though.



i agree thats a good idea
always ME!
#10
Quote by live 4 guitar
Where it says

Life's too short
it goes too fast

I think you should lengthen that to fit the last 2 lines (this is how it went in my head, anywyas, you might have had a different tune in your head or something)

Maybe

Life is too short
It goes by too damn fast

Just a thought. Good work though.


thanks for the suggestion, i like it a lot better the way you said
~gtrfrk


founder of the dunlop pick fan club


RIP Roger "Syd" Barrett


"Let the good times roll"
#12
Seems like your simplyfying an complex subject rather unfairly.

As a pop song, high brow punk or something like Greenday it's aite. Fits the bill. Not my cup of tea really.

Lyrically, I think it's ok for what your doing. Nice flow, keeps up pace. Guessing this is played fast yer?

As I said, as song lyrics go it's aite depending on your genre, for that I like it.