#1
Well, here I am again with this song. I've changed a good portion since the last time. I completely scrapped part of the song, actually, and replaced it. My vocalist said it sounded too much like "Zelda", and I eventually agreed. Thus changing it to the awesomeness that it is now.

I plan to add a second guitar part to the 1st Verse riff. I'm just not sure what. Need help there.

I'm content with the second verse. Though, I've thought about extending it a little bit and maybe adding an interlude or bridge after it before going to the next verse.

The third verse is what I've added. It's awesome. Honestly. It's awesome. I want to extend it some, adding a more metal styled riff after it. Not like the bridge, though.
I'd like some help coming up with what to play there.

The bridge into guitar solo part. Yea. I suck at writing any sort of a good lead line, so a solo is a bit out of my league. But, I feel that part is pretty perfect for a solo. If anyone would like to help.. that'd be awesome.

Any Crit would be wonderful.

ps. I'm a Crit for Crit kind of guy!
-HD-
Attachments:
swizzest.zip
Spiral Out
Last edited by HumanitysDeath at May 13, 2006,
#2
I like it. The main riff is overused a lot though, even with the variations (mainly because it's very simple in it's essence so it's hard to keep it refreshing for the whole song).

The structure is quite original for a 4.5 minute song so props for that though
#3
i thouroughly enjoyd it, epecially the outro it was really creepy sounding and i just love it. the modern vibe that i was getting at times i didnt liek so much... keep it up
MYSELF INFLUECE I


soo much n00bage
Quote by xX Maverick Xx
sorry to bust everyones bubble but lamb of god arent "hardcore" theyre death metal, and therefore metal.
#4
Gutsman: Yea, I did use like.. the same four or five chords (with slight variations) througout the whole song. But, I really couldn't figure out any other chords that kept the same feel of the song. It's got a real dark, mysterious feel to at times, and I like to keep that.

Spark1284: What do you mean "the modern vibe"? And thanks on the outro. It's probably my favorite part of the song.
Spiral Out
#6
This piece suffers from it's repetitiveness. But it seems like alot of stuff around here is. Maybe if there were lyrics it would be more interesting. Other then that I really liked this piece. If you could, crit mine? It's called goodnight.
#8
As has already been said, its a bit repetitive. The main riff sounds good but needs to be varied a bit more. I'm attempted to add some sort of lead line on the 1st verse but it came out bad. Not sure what you could do with a second guitar.
Second verse was great. Liked it a lot. As with the third verse, sounded great. Kept it interesting. The bridge/solo section sounds perfect for a solo. I may make an attempt at it, though I find the timing difficult. Outro really good as well. Overall a good job, will there be vocals added?
I'll maybe have an attempt at a solo and get back to you
#9
I reallly liked it! It had that mysterioua eery feel like u had said u wanted, and I coulod feel it. lyrics would be more interesting to cover up the repetitiveness. you tempo changes were noticibale ina good way, you know? they kept the piece moving. So, really good, thx for the crit.