#1
I wrote this last night while i was babysitting. i think the ending could do with some work (Shakespeare quotes are sooooo last year )
Leave a link and i'll be happy to look at your work.


We'll watch the children sleep,
we will all feel the youthful contentment
and we will promise not to feel any jealousy
we wont feel anything at all
All their dancing dreams mean nothing to us
if we swear they really are just that
and we tell ourselves their nightly images arn't something to aspire to
we will tell ourselves that dreamers often lie
#2
hmmmm I can see where the babysitting part comes in but I'm not to fond of this I'm sorry. Maybe it's the flow of it all. rework it using the same ideas and try to make it flow more and think you'd have some grade A stuff here

crit me? http://ultimate-guitar.com/forum/sh...ad.php?t=364771
http://ultimate-guitar.com/forum/sh...ad.php?t=364739