#1
The times were good
I thought theyed never end
Until the day
I saw you crying

Why
Could I
Never get over you
Made me blue

When you told me
Were breaking up
You didnt love me
anymore

Why
Could I
Never get over you
Made me blue
#2
people only post when i do something wrong
Last edited by savy11 at May 13, 2006,
#3
delete that post or it'll get closed
Quote by HendrixEdge
My work will never be to the majority's tastes; and to be honest; I've no problem in accepting that.


If the doors of perception were cleansed, every thing would appear to man as it is, infinite.
#4
This song's really generic and bland.

It makes no use of any literary devices like metaphors, etc.

Also, it sounds more like whining than anything else.

If you want to write a song about a girl dumping you, at least do it a little more creatively.

Sorry if I came off harsh, but, I'd say this piece is very, very, very poor.
you tell me who's better. i think good charlote are better than the bealtes but that's only because their lyrics mean more and they are better musicians.


Member #4 of The Mars Volta fanclub. PM happytimeharry to join.
#6
The times were good
I thought theyed never end
Until the day
I saw you crying

Okay this is okay at best. did not see a flow.

Why
Could I
Never get over you
Made me blue

This was broken. No flow and not worded well.
When you told me
Were breaking up
You didnt love me
anymore

This is okay.

Why
Could I
Never get over you
Made me blue


Overall you should try to re write it. It had a good theme. You just need to put more time in it. Good luck next time.
Last edited by guitar? at May 13, 2006,
#8
i would too but since it is the same as a thousand other songs, you can just search for my post
Quote by HendrixEdge
My work will never be to the majority's tastes; and to be honest; I've no problem in accepting that.


If the doors of perception were cleansed, every thing would appear to man as it is, infinite.