#1
I'v fallen, so very far, yet never hit the ground.
I still hear a painful sound?
Was that me or my counsciousness.
I screw up my face as I think of waking
To face another day like this.
My body's cold & shaking, the tears dont cease...
Did the wind change course while I was down?

Because now im stuck.

It troubles me to know that I
Have seen things you only never will.
I've felt things so cold, evil. Hard & still.
& now permanent; the wind changed course.
I dont care anymore, to let
Blood flow, doesnt bother me but still I
Cry to see it. Interesting concept?

Will this better by rope or knife.
I dont care for life. It hurts.
Reality hits solid as cement,
as i realise the things I miss dear. The
things I never really possessed.

Yes, I choose rope.

Be careful in which ways I place it
Round my throat. This could hurt.
Pick a chair. Choose a place.
Write a note.
The normal stuff... casual.
Take that pill, wait to fall.

I've fallen, so very far, yet never hit the ground.
I still hear a painful sound. Was that me or my consciousness...
Let the wind blow.


Ok, well i fixed up the grammar now, after a few comments on that....
Last edited by Nickelbitch at May 15, 2006,
#3
very nice. it gives a real sense of wut you are feeling within. the only problem i can find with it is maybe sum spelling and grammar issues but thats nothing important. overall a very nice song and i would like to hear it put to music. and thanx for the feedback on my song. its the first time i've actually had sum1 give me advice on it other than just saying "wow i really like it!"
#4
Quote by rugby372
very nice. it gives a real sense of wut you are feeling within. the only problem i can find with it is maybe sum spelling and grammar issues but thats nothing important. overall a very nice song and i would like to hear it put to music. and thanx for the feedback on my song. its the first time i've actually had sum1 give me advice on it other than just saying "wow i really like it!"


thats fine.... yeah, well im more an email person so i'm not really conscious of my spelling... but i'll fix it. I'll think before i post....
Quote by Lord_Of_Dance.

I never understood why a girl would take a boner as a bad thing "Oh no, your attracted to me, you sick wanker." :\ x


Quote by Nelsean
Im saying this the straightest way possible, but...

I'd have sexual intercourse with your anus.
#5
nice, i like especially the way that the beginning links to the end

and good on you for being able to write in a very open, honest way
"Anytime but now
Anywhere but here
Anyone but me
I've got to think about my own life
The world is not our facility
We have a responsibility
To use our abilities to keep this place alive," said ian mackaye
#6
cool. it's excellent that ur being honest with ur self. keep up the great work! some imagery and flow there! some might say "...MINDBLOWING!"