#1
"Beautiful Disaster"

(Kettel/Schwind)




She's so beautiful and yet so sad,

She hates the world for all shes had


She's so sick of all the lies,

It hurts her no matter how hard she tries

It doesnt matter how many attempts she makes,

She is still lying there wide awake






Shes a Beautiful Disaster,

Don't know what she's after,

Shes a Beautiful Disaster

Just running faster


She remembers and has a fit

Calms it with another hit,

Shooting up and passing out


She just wants to forget about

the world


Shes a Beautiful Disaster,

Don't know what she's after,

Shes a Beautiful Disaster

Just running faster and faster and.....


I love her but she hates me

I love her but she can't see

I love her but she don't care

I love her but she don't.......


Shes a Beautiful Disaster,

Don't know what she's after,

Shes a Beautiful Disaster

Just running faster and faster and.....


(Guitar solo with "She's a Beautiful Disaster" voice overdubs and answering guitar at the end)


She's Beautiful
#3
You will probably get alot of crap about the rhyming, and alot of times the aabb is fitting and interesting, but this is not one of those times. Rhyme Scheme is boring, and seems forced. Beautiful Disaster is rather cliche by now. Not completely bad overall though. Try to move away from that rhyme scheme in the future, use some imagery, be descriptive.

My first and only piece so far : https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=359179
Jesse Wants To Die Just As Much As You Want Him Dead