Page 5 of 57
#162
Me and my cousin would always go to the bathroom together and "X-Pee!," I dont know wtf we were thinking, but we would both stand in front of the toilet and pee, and make an X shape, even if we had to go really bad, we would wait, just so we could "X-Pee!"

When I was like 9, me and some friend pulled a girl under a jungle gym thing, and stuck our hands down her shirt. I met her again a couple months ago, I didnt bring it up though, and I dont think she remembered/recognized me.
BOLD.
#164
Me, and my male and female cousin would all go in the basement, drop draw, and have a smelling contest. We'd have one person open their cheeks and go cram it in another's face, and if someone started gagging, they'd lose that round. One time my female cousin got **** on her nose... hahahahah....


I hope you all know that I was joking. But, I think I had a dream about that, once...
#166
Quote by grungefan89
^ I call "Incest Fantasy" on that dream there, pal.


It was with a guy and a girl, but I dont remember if it was my two cousins involved... mighta been... but I figured incest would add some grossness to the story

It's weird... I remember me being fine with the dream, but I also remember throwing up about two years ago when I first found out about "skat"... and, no, not the "doo wap do wapp!" kind...
#169
Oh yeah another one, though nobody caught me: One time I pee'd in a cup and stuck my weewee in it. I think I was like 9...I'm wierd :/

And one time that same friend that used to jerk with me in the bathroom in school asked me to massage his back one night when he was sleepin over so I did...then we realized we were both wearing only boxers...that's when I told him it would be 5 bucks lol.
Dead soldier! Go now to Valhalla!
#170
i'm 17 now but back when i was 8 or so, there was this chick who went to the same baby sitter as me...well, whenever we were supposed to have "nap-time" me n her would always go to a corner and i'd feel her. later when i was about 10(she would be about 9)...we played "house" or some **** like that. anyways i was "dad" and she was a baby....well when she said she "wet herself" i was told i had to take her clothes off and pretend to change her or something....those are the days....but now i'm 17 she's 16....i remember it(thanks to this thread)...i doubt she does...


and to make matters worse she asked me out when she as 10(me 11) i turned her down........now she's hotter than H.ell!!!!!
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#171
^Damn dude, bring up that ****....then again...that could be molestation or something....still dude, ask her out!!
Dead soldier! Go now to Valhalla!
#172
Quote by maddd0g
Me and my cousin would always go to the bathroom together and "X-Pee!," I dont know wtf we were thinking, but we would both stand in front of the toilet and pee, and make an X shape, even if we had to go really bad, we would wait, just so we could "X-Pee!"

When I was like 9, me and some friend pulled a girl under a jungle gym thing, and stuck our hands down her shirt. I met her again a couple months ago, I didnt bring it up though, and I dont think she remembered/recognized me.


Sword fight, crossfire, brother and I when I was like 5.
#173
Another one but not as great:

Recently (I'm almost 16) me and my friend planned shooting a "Big Foot Documentary" which involved one of us walking around in the woods in undies with a big mask on lmao. We haven't done it but that night I put on little undies and the mask and came running out of the bathroom while he was playing guitar and I danced around on the bed then somersaulted back into the bathroom ^_^

Umm...yesterday my friend had a stain on his gym shorts and turns out it was actually cum...just thought I'd bring that up...

In 3rd grade me and a buddy would throw quarters on the ground and try to see up girls skirts. Only problem was that they were wearing jeans :/

Use to look at porn all the time with friends, I think that's pretty normal though.
Dead soldier! Go now to Valhalla!
#174
I have two hilarious ones, although I was only a bystander in each.

First one, I went to a sleepover with 4 other firends when we were about 8. 3 of the 5 guys were dry humping and rubbing their genitals on eachother all night. One of the guys also tried to kiss me ON THE LIPS. Im still friends with him

Second one, when I was in grade 5 my whole class went into our school's computer lab to do research for a project. A really fat, ugly girl and just a plain ugly boy were at the same computer looking up porn. I was a few computers over, and obviously I looked (who wouldnt?) They would soon get caught by a teacher walking by and were sent to the principle.

EDIT:

Just looking through this thread a bit, and this is the first time Ive seriously LOL'd at UG in a few months. Robbie's a genious, particularly with this one
Quote by Robbie n strat
Before I started puberty, I used to rub my glans penis with a sponge, which tickled immensely and made muscles in my back, stomach and legs contract without concious input. On one day in particular, I spent about an hour rubbing it against a sponge, which ended up making my penis very sore. I filled a jug with cold water and lowered my penis into it. That was the most satisfying feeling I'd ever felt.
It's difficult to win unless you're bored.
Last edited by TechnicolorBoy at May 16, 2006,
#175
One time I jacked off before school, and even though it was a 20 minute walk when I got to school my dick was still jizzed to my pants and this fat kid and this kid whose head is shaped like a dildo were making fun of me.
Ain't Nuthin' But a UG Thang: Generic member of the UG Hip Hop/Guitar Music Equality Illuminati

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It seems like UG is full of those Caveman Metalheads

Quote by mydarkesthour
I meant caveman as in long haired....


#176
Wow this thread is funny...

Anyway I got a couple:

When I was in kindergarten, me and a friend of mine believed that to have sex, you had to pee in the girls ass. ()And so whenever I'd go over to his house, we would, of course, reenact it...

When my cousins and I were younger we'd go to my grandparents basement and play truth or dare, many of which were very wrong to do with your cousins, such as kissing someone, touching, etc.

My mom used to take care of this girl for daycare who was about my age, so we'd make a fort and check each other out. One time she yelled "Stop it, that tickles!" very loud, and my mom peeked under the blanket...and saw everything.
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#178
Quote by popapez
yeah seriously....................... this thread is something that you know you shouldnt look at, but you just cant help reading through it...


i didnt do anything as perverted as most of you guys... all i remember is spending a lot of time climbing up this rope on my playground. when you lift both your legs up to the next knot, it felt really.... interesting. i did it a lot- this was when i was probably about 6. i had no idea what that feeling was....


awww popapez thats just cute!

i used to have wanking contests with a friend whos a year older and oddly it was who could cum first... then when i was a little older and started geting into sex i realized that wasnt the goal.

my ex was giving me a handjob a few months back and it took like an hour for me to cum.as you can see ive trained the speed cumming gene out.

the same gf- i was talking to her mum after id taken the daughter to the cinema one night and i had a huge cumstain on the front of my shirt and her mum was in a car and i was talking to her through the window so she was at the perfect hight to see it.

i once got my dick out and stood up on a tabe in mc donalds for a tenner.

im banned from said mc donalds.

one time my scrotum got like... dry.. and i had to ask my mum for moisturizer from my scrot. i havnt had scrotal dandruff like robbie tho. thank god.

ill think more and get back to you
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#179
this is the most ****ed up thread ever...

entertaining...funny...

but seriously ****ed up...

i really dont have ne stories to share...
am i just paranoid...or am i just stoned?
#180


At this thread. So many funny things.. this is probably my second favorite thread.
I truly am my own redeemer
Blindly I follow none but myself
Without fear I am
Unhallowed be my name

Myself am hell and hell I shall unleash
I laugh at Thee to scorn
Mock Thy majesty
Pour forth my chalice ov victory
#181
bump
Quote by Soma3009
I came up with this kick ass riff on my ukelele when I was 12. Find out two years later, it was smoke on the water. Got my hopes and dreams killed..



Quote by saintjimmy99
you used the right form of "their!" i commend you sir!

#185
Quote by Robbie n strat
Well, I don't have anything involving animals, so it's not too strange.

Another one. I tried to have sex with a bubble bath bottle, but the opening was too small.

]

fooking hell you like embarrising yourself dont you?
Quote by Beansontoast
the only musical instrument a woman should play is the hoover and/or the iron
#186
Quote by edwardhaine
]

fooking hell you like embarrising yourself dont you?


I'm just recalling peculiar sexual experiences I've had. I'm not embarrassed by any of them.
#187
Quote by maddd0g
Me and my cousin would always go to the bathroom together and "X-Pee!," I dont know wtf we were thinking, but we would both stand in front of the toilet and pee, and make an X shape.



Holy crap, I did the same thing.
That's really weird
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#188
yea this my two friends used to "clang dicks" which involved hitting your dick on the other persons and then i said i want to try so i whip it out and then the UPS guy came around the corner (yes, we did this outside) and he saw me almost do it but then i got scared and ran.........another time i went to the bathroom with my friends sister and told her i could play guitar on my pee pee so i proceeded to strum my ****, then she tried it but i was like 7 so it wasnt much
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#189
Quote by Stinging_Acid
Holy crap, I did the same thing.
That's really weird


lol i just remembered i used to do that with my friends when i was around 6! we used to call it sword fighting...
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#190
In the local swimming pool, theres like a rapids bit, you know. There are power jets underwater that are so powerful, a child could be shot at about 10 mph out of that thing. One day I decided to see how long I could hold on to the wall behind it without being pushed away. Thank **** I tried that. I found probably the best free masturbator EVER. I would pull my abdomen and my 'special' area right up against the jet and my mind would go ****ing crazy! (not to mention my penis). It was like being ****ed by a super hot women who could hump at the speed of a pneumatic drill.

Bliss

I did get some very odd looks though...
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wheres the sig button??

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#191
Quote by T_R_A_P_T
We had the peeing contests at school, but it was to see how high you could go. My friend peed out of the window. Haha.


hahaha i had those too except when i did it the kid next to me zipped his wang in his pants zipper and screamed so when i turneda around (still pissing) i pissed on his shirt his pants and in his mouth ahaha
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#194
When i was about 6 one of my ****ed up friends made a "pleasure box" which consisted of a shoe box with various holes and devices including a pair of tweasers to stretch out his foreskin which apparently felt amazing. He also put his dick in a dictionary and made me sit on it. He was one twisted chappie.
Quote by Beansontoast
the only musical instrument a woman should play is the hoover and/or the iron
#195
Quote by Robbie n strat
I remember I was waiting in my friends bedroom whilst he went to the toilet, and I pulled a bit of skin off my scrotum that was about an inch in length and width. I ended up putting it under his bed.


"They credited us with the birth of that sort of heavy metal thing. Well, if that's the case, there should be an immediate abortion." - Ginger Baker

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#196
Quote by aleb
In the local swimming pool, theres like a rapids bit, you know. There are power jets underwater that are so powerful, a child could be shot at about 10 mph out of that thing. One day I decided to see how long I could hold on to the wall behind it without being pushed away. Thank **** I tried that. I found probably the best free masturbator EVER. I would pull my abdomen and my 'special' area right up against the jet and my mind would go ****ing crazy! (not to mention my penis). It was like being ****ed by a super hot women who could hump at the speed of a pneumatic drill.

Bliss

I did get some very odd looks though...


SIGGED!!
I'm back. No-one knew I left anyway. Do you even know who I am?
#198
Quote by SForbz-Rockstar
Dude, that'll never fit.



That's what your mum said!


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#199
Quote by meh!
That's what your mum said!






...


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#200
Quote by aleb
In the local swimming pool, theres like a rapids bit, you know. There are power jets underwater that are so powerful, a child could be shot at about 10 mph out of that thing. One day I decided to see how long I could hold on to the wall behind it without being pushed away. Thank **** I tried that. I found probably the best free masturbator EVER. I would pull my abdomen and my 'special' area right up against the jet and my mind would go ****ing crazy! (not to mention my penis). It was like being ****ed by a super hot women who could hump at the speed of a pneumatic drill.

Bliss

I did get some very odd looks though...

ive done that!
Quote by Soma3009
I came up with this kick ass riff on my ukelele when I was 12. Find out two years later, it was smoke on the water. Got my hopes and dreams killed..



Quote by saintjimmy99
you used the right form of "their!" i commend you sir!