#1
Pre-Thoughts

Should I?
We put in the movie,
Neither of us paying attention.
A candle meaninglessly burns.

When?
Casablanca isn't that interesting.
Is she as nervous as me?
My surroundings cease to exist.

How should I?
Maybe i shouldn't.
Maybe she thinks the same.
Maybe i'm overthinking this.

It's midnight already?
Did i waste the last 90 miniutes?
Two aquaintences lean into eachother,
Both thinking the same thought.


It's about my first kiss, my english teacher/mentor-type says i should write about it to improve my poetry. Crit for Crit.
#2
It's pretty good IMO. You should describe your nervousness more. I do like how you ask yourself questions. Not bad.
<my tongue's the only muscle on my body that works harder than my heart>