#1
Just a new lil poem. The typical poem about wanting to say something when you couldn't or weren't allowed to. Not covering any real new ground, but it's something new I've written.

Counting down as the sun begins to fade
And nothing seems to be real
We never find the words to say
That truly convey the way we feel

When what we say has half-hearted meaning
And the words frozen on the tips of our tongues
While on the inside we're burning and screaming
To sing the song that's been left unsung

So we cower in that moment of silence
The laws of sound have been undone
As fear and apathy form their alliance
We sit and wait for the words to come
#2
Although I'd prefer a more anti-roman edge to your songwriting, I'd have to say that this is an piece of work
#3
I actuall really like this, one of the better poems I've seen here.

Simple, yet effective, i like the rhyming and the main theme of "words frozen on the tips of our tongue".

Nice poem
#4
Good lyrics (the words flow, and it rhymes well and the rhymes don't seem forced, etc.) and you did a good job of conveying what you were talking about. I like it except for the fact that (for me anyway), that poem doesn't have any real meaning. I mean, it's like writing a poem about being constipated... Sorry if that sounds harsh..

Despite that, I really like it; and who am i to judge how deep the meaning is... 9/10. Good job.
#5
I like it. It's a simple topic, but one we all know, and you've described it nicely.

I must also say I loved the second verse- It really gets the point across. Good work.
#7
You seem like a very good songwriter. It's just really hard to believe that it's not personal. Good lyrics. Nice concept.
#8
Thanks, n-ocentcriminal. When I meant not personal, I was trying to get it out as a poem/song that wasn't all about me. It's putting the reader in the place of me and it's not a story about me. That's what I was getting at. Sorry if that confused some people.