#1
This isn't the first song i've posted but it was the first song i ever wrote so your crit is greatley appriciated. It's a bit of a stereotypical love song but my personal life was screwed up at the time so thats why.

Welcome

Turn off your television, it?s not that hard a decision, why are you avoiding me, what are you pretending to be.

When do I receive my welcome, isn?t it what I deserve, When do I receive my welcome, isn?t it what I deserve, no!

Giving in so easily to peer pressure, somehow I?m just not sure, about how much I mean to you, tell me what to do.

When do I receive my welcome, isn?t it what I deserve, When do I receive my welcome, isn?t it what I deserve, no!

I thought we were getting on so well, but the silence is hell, now just turn away and don?t look back, coz I just might attack.

When do I receive my welcome, isn?t it what I deserve, When do I receive my welcome, isn?t it what I deserve, no!

The next day you make it seem, like the silence was a dream, but even though I carry on, it remains, never gone.

When do I receive my welcome, isn?t it what I deserve, When do I receive my welcome, isn?t it what I deserve, no!

Back before we got on, I would have thought this was wrong, but to face you now I can see, together forever you and me.

When do I receive my welcome, isn?t it what I deserve, When do I receive my welcome, isn?t it what I deserve, no!

Check out my other song: Old Man at the Crossroad
#2
It's nice to see that Old Man at the Crossroads shows you've made progress with your songwriting since this.

I find this one a bit hard to comprehend- it seems a bit choppy, randomised to me.

The rhymes here seem forced, and the chorus part is repeated too much for my personal licking. But heck, it was your first song, and it wasn't too bad. But I do prefer the other song, and it's good to see you promoted it in this thread.

Thanks also for the crit. Cheers.
#3
Yeah i think this is a bit poor lyricall, i'm gonna post the tab as soon as it's finished if you wanna check that out, i'm also gonna post the tab for old man at the cross road.

Will you please crit my tab i've posted, it's called untitled intro (ballad type song) i think.

Cheers
#4
This was one was a little weak compared to "Old Man At The Crossroads". On a scale, I'd probably give it a six out of ten. Repetition should be effective in a song. The repetition here was just tedious, no offense or anything. It needs some work but I have every confidence that you'll turn it into something worth publishing one day. Good work
REVENGE
#5
Yeah taking in the crit i'll do some work on it, i'll be posting the tab soon so look out for it.
Also Crit
Tab: Untitled Intro (Ballad Type Song)

Lyrics: Old man at the crossroad
#6
Just wanna ask people coz i can only post one more tab this week should it be for this or old man at the crossroad?