#1
I wrote this song the other day, just want to know where i could improve it as i am a song writing noob (this is my first one :P)

Lost within the silence
Broken Hearts, Shattered Dreams
Im only letting this happen once
But once, is one too many
Happines only exists in the absence of hate

Hate you, Hate Me
What?
How?
Why?
If you dont wanna know me, i dont wanna know me

Lost within My heart
Broken mind,Shattered glass.........
Im only trying to help you love
But love, is only love once
Once its done,and gone, its lost

Hate you, Hate me
What?
How?
Why?
If you dont wanna know me, i dont wanna know me

All that was lost
Can be found, somehow
But why try? Its a ****in LIE!
You lied to me, now i lie to you mother****er

Hate you, Hate me
What?
How?
Why?
If you dont wanna know me, i dont wanna know me

Losing you
Hate myself, Emotions Lost
I thought you were mine
But you, didnt want me
I can tell,The look in your eyes

GET AWAY!!!!
I dont want you, i dont want me
Not in This life.......
NO!!!!

I dont know if this is too long, but it can be cut down. Im not too sure about some of the lyrics, but hey, i try :P Cheers all
#2
some o it is cliche'd! u might want to consider varied word usage so then it won't sound like ranting and raving but i guess ur trying to express ur emotions so i won't give u flack for that. just touch up and revise it and use colorful language (profanity doesn't qualify).