Poll: Hows me song
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View poll results: Hows me song
sucks bad
1 50%
not verry good
0 0%
ok
1 50%
awesome
0 0%
FRIKIN AMAZING!!!!!!
0 0%
Voters: 2.
#1
Wake Me Up by Suckerpunch

Verse 1
Grumbling at the alarm as my day begins
A problem pops up and I?m late again
Goin thru the same junk every day
Sometimes I wonder should be this way
Problems stackin up like a pile of bricks
I gotta test commin up on the 5th
So many problems times are hard
How I handle some make me feel like a retard

Chorus
Whyle I?m asleep Lord before the day begins
Please wake me up from this dream I?m in
don?t make me go thru the same junk again
Lord wake me up from this dream I?m in

Verse 2
I?m saved I go to church every day
I?ve found those that was lost and shown them the way
God I know I havent really done my best
I have to ask you r u with me in this mess
I?ve been through trials through and through
When I have problems I look to you

Chorus2 (Workin on it)

Verse3
Always on Friday life gives me a break
away from the chaos and confusion it makes
Hangin with my true friend down at CBC
There is the prettyest girl I?ve ever seen
I wonder if she?ll ever notice me
But the next day lifes aginst me again
Lord wake me up from this dream I?m in

Chorus3
My fealing inside I cant hold ?em in
Lord wake me up from this dream I?m in
Things arnt the same but its still the same game
And I?ll be in it from beginnin to end
Lord wake me up from this dream I?m in
#3
Well, I really dig your verses, but I am just not feeling the choruses. It's like everything will be flowing wonderfully and then you come to a brick wall. You might want to change some of the rhymes. You kind of got that G Love rhyme feel. Sort of simple, but you have a lot to say. For me choruses are probably the most difficult for me as well.
#4
this rhyme is REALLY forced, ruined the whole song:

Problems stackin up like a pile of bricks
I gotta test commin up on the 5th <------change that
I'm Back.


[STAY THIRSTY, MY FRIENDS]


When Autumn comes, it doesn't ask
It just walks in where it left you last
You never know when it starts
Until there's fog inside the glass around your summer heart