#1
She takes my hand
And cherish this moment forever
Together we build it
Only death will crush it

We are all egomaniacal
Where else can I find a perfect girl?
She?s single and available
Now I know life is enjoyable

She made me realize
What a beautiful life it was
The happy tan of the sun
It?s like I see heaven beyond

Every kisses is every breath
I need it and I?m not losing my faith
I don?t want to spent every seconds alone
I hope you will be my queen waiting me at my throne
#2
She takes my hand
And cherish this moment forever
Together we build it
Only death will crush it

2ND Line, I would add "we" in front of cherish. Didn't like the fourth line, it's to hmm ... whats the word .. dramatic, I guess you could say.

We are all egomaniacal
Where else can I find a perfect girl?
She?s single and available
Now I know life is enjoyable

I don't like the first line, it doesn't fit the rest. I do, however, like the rest. It's catchy.

She made me realize
What a beautiful life it was
The happy tan of the sun
It?s like I see heaven beyond

This is solid. I like it.

Every kisses is every breath
I need it and I?m not losing my faith
I don?t want to spent every seconds alone
I hope you will be my queen waiting me at my throne

Every kisses? Spent? Just fix the typos in this part, and it will be pretty good.

Overall, I liked it, reminded me of an oldie for some reason. Crit mine please.
#3
She takes my hand
And cherish this moment forever
Together we build it
Only death will crush it

Not really following here. Last line should be taken out.

We are all egomaniacal
Where else can I find a perfect girl?
She’s single and available
Now I know life is enjoyable

Get rid of the first line. Rest is good to go.

She made me realize
What a beautiful life it was
The happy tan of the sun
It’s like I see heaven beyond

2nd line. Maybe change it was to I have? You are living this life, aren't you? Lol

Every kisses is every breath
I need it and I’m not losing my faith
I don’t want to spent every seconds alone
I hope you will be my queen waiting me at my throne

Besides typos, everything is good. Keep it up man.
The times they are a changin'.....
#5
i like it, I agree with Alkaline just fix the typos and it will be good. Maybe make it a tad bit longer. anyways nice work. 8/10

crit me: https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=364739