#1
All For The Girl

His mind is in flames He has a burning desire
For the one girl who left him cold
She lied and stabbed
Fought all out but left him
Now he sits, thinking what he did
But realizes that its not him
But the free choice of his counterpart

Hes cold and alone, mind is a blank
He thinks of her as she leaves his wake
With no kiss goodbye, no simple fairwell
But instead with a dark, go to hell

He cries and waits, will she come back
He walks down the alley alone
He cries out loud, why god Why?
And then he knows
He did not love, He took her for granted
She wanted more, but was denied
So now he thinks of the one strong thought
Kill me god, take me from earth

He has a fire in his eyes
thinking, cocked and loaded
Aiming at a picture of her he shoots
and cries as the glass shatters
He cocks again and now he cries
And aims teh gun at his head
Sweat rolls down his blank face
Pulls the trigger dead in place


crits plz and yeh it may be a little cliche
Quote by ibaRGnes321

My grandma gives me the stranges things.

Last year for my birthday she got me soap on a rope. SOAP ON A ROPE! I have no idea what possessed her to do this.she was completely serious about it too.
#2
Good story. But c'mon now, no guy would ever let a girl walk all over him like that. She was so not worth it. He didn't take her for granted, she just wanted an excuse to leave him and have more fun. He wasn't exciting enough for her. And now how does she feel, now that she's killed a man? Probably powerful. It's all a power trip for her. Pshh. Typical. Don't let 'em fool ya, man, they're almost all the same.

Sorry, I just got really into the whole story. Yeah, it's a little theatrical, but I like it. At least it's not like everything else. Seriously though, no girl is worth the headache. Hah! Get it?

7/10, in my humble opinion.
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#3
ty for that... and yeh... i get the headache part
Quote by ibaRGnes321

My grandma gives me the stranges things.

Last year for my birthday she got me soap on a rope. SOAP ON A ROPE! I have no idea what possessed her to do this.she was completely serious about it too.
#4
haha i agree....id say 8/10....im going through something of the walking over me sort of thing...but theres goona be a much different ending for her especially lol

plz rate or crit mine - https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=364520
Quote by RockerPseudonym

Under Influence: A weird look
Minor Posession(A gram or two): Confiscation
Possession w/ intent to distribute(Lots, all bagged out): Jail.
The look on your face when the dealer tells you it's laced with crack: Priceless
#5
Good story. But c'mon now, no guy would ever let a girl walk all over him like that. QUOTE]

unless of course he was a nerdy emo!hahaha
your once gentle words are bleeding from my eyes ,screams of terror now fill my every breath...
#6
o yea... and i loved it...maybe u should post u singing or playing it!9/10
your once gentle words are bleeding from my eyes ,screams of terror now fill my every breath...
#7
Ty for those... ill check out any links posted
Quote by ibaRGnes321

My grandma gives me the stranges things.

Last year for my birthday she got me soap on a rope. SOAP ON A ROPE! I have no idea what possessed her to do this.she was completely serious about it too.
#8
Is there any more crits?
Quote by ibaRGnes321

My grandma gives me the stranges things.

Last year for my birthday she got me soap on a rope. SOAP ON A ROPE! I have no idea what possessed her to do this.she was completely serious about it too.