#1
I don't see the evidence
To anythings existence
This page isn't real
And neither are you
Apathy I feel,
Fabricated in the atmosphere

Rejection,closed minds despise
Evidence, give me facts, am I really typing this?
Apathy,no more feeling, just nothing
Life, does it really matter anymore?

This tragic train of thought
Came to be, when angels soared beyond me
While I sank, sank further into the ****ing ground
I cope much better with this now, that nothing exists


I stand in my nothingness
Where there is no beginning,
And there is no end,
In the epilogue, "everything" goes away
But "everything" is really nothing
Despite what "they" say...


I dont feel this piece is as good as my last one, I pretty much just did this today in my freetime...

(EDIT)- I added a stanza
Last edited by DanteR* at May 30, 2006,
#2
I think we're in the same boat. You sound like me.

I wonder where it's headed...

I'm sure it's more important to enjoy the ride than to discover where it leads, as far as we're concerned, no?

Very good song. A little matrix-ish, and very philosophical.

It made me think, and I think that's the sign of a good song. Your last verse is very strong, and my favorite. Nice rhymin'.

You're the man, man.
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#3
I liked the way the words sort of stecato'd (did i spell that right??) while i was reading this in my head... short but detailed words... good stuff man... 8/10 for me...
Quote by Lord_Of_Dance.

I never understood why a girl would take a boner as a bad thing "Oh no, your attracted to me, you sick wanker." :\ x


Quote by Nelsean
Im saying this the straightest way possible, but...

I'd have sexual intercourse with your anus.
#5
Brilliant.
Although I might change the line about typing...hmm
It reminds me of my thoughts throughout the day, reminds me of what I wish I could write.
Keep it up, you've got a talent.
Post more!
FinestImagery
...Gott weiss ich will kein Engel sein...
#6
If your going to attack issues deeper then say love and **** like that then you need to follow through with ideas not stick just stick words together that doesn't make any real sense. There is a large difference between thinking something is deep and something being deep.

I like your overal concept but maybe re-work these direct contradictions:

This tragic train of thought
Came to be, when angels soared beyond me
While I sank, sank further into the ****ing ground
I cope much better with this now, that nothing exists

This is the worst of the four. I mean, How if angels can exist. As in within a reailty which I assume your trying to show. Can you jump from believe in everything (more then reality, angels) to nothing. Even if you discovered this through instantly. Wouldn't you question yourself as to why you turned complete 180 almost instantly.

I stand in my nothingness
Where there is no beginning,
And there is no end,
In the epilogue, "everything" goes away
But "everything" is really nothing
Despite what "they" say...

Who are "they"? this sound more like you think of cool phases as apose to actual logic. Re-think this and maybe to explain how about you cope with this new found sense of reality, I'd be more interested in that.

I'd like to see more on this subject by you.

See as you like thinking try mine for size.

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=367408
"Alright. Who wants some? "