#1
ok, im in a very music based classic rock band, and i have this kille riff, and i wrote the music 4an awesome song, and i just jotted down some lyrics in like 30 seconds, there ok, but can you guys help me make them not as corny?

main riff x2

drums enters

bass enters

power chord

im burnin up at 103, aint no pill strong enough to cure me

main riff x2

power chord

its gettin hot, to hot to move, how much more do i have to prove

main riff x2

riff 2 x4

bridge riff

chorus

*backround singing* i gotta fever x2

main riff x4

power chord

its too hot lying in bed, sittin here, thinkin' about what you said

main riff x2

its gettin hot, to hot to move, how much more do i have to prove

main riff x2

riff 2 x4

bridge

chorus

guitar solo

all instruments stop, guitar plays main riff 2 times everyone else joins in, then outro


HELP! i know its corny, but just simple feedbakc would help from you guys...

thank you