#1
"recall"
chorus: sitting in my room alone, contimplating things i've wrote
sitting here bored as hell, waiting for you to call
this time i'll try hard this time well go far
and if you stay with me you know i'll never leave

Verse1:what do you want what do you need
i'll be there for all your needs
please can you give me one last chance
let me, let me

Verse2:waiting for you outside your door
standing here all alone
i just want to feel together
i promise you i promise you

Order: Intro(no words)
verse1
chorus
bridge (no words
verse2
chorus
bridge (no words)
chorus


"Fate" or "leaving song Part2" (no part 1 hehe)

Chorus:and everything is gonna be okay
no matter what you do or say
and if you say we can't go we'll just leave in the night
everything is gonna be alright


Verse1:and he says to him were gonna make it out there
it doesn't even matter if you care
and get out of my face i'm losing my mind
and your the one who's out of line

Verse2: we just had our concert and we were great
you could tell this was our fate
the feeling was awesome i can't explain it
the adrenaline was like a fire lit

verse3: we made it alright in the end
we made some enemies we made some friends
this has been the best trip i ever had
and i promise yuou we'll play again

Order:Intro(no words
verse1
bridge
verse2
chorus
verse3
chorus
introlude
chorus


i don't really like how i'm writing please tell me what you like and don't like...but i feel that i'm more passionate with my writing when i write poems and not lyrics but also i kind of found out that i'm not writing about the right types of things and i want to write about different things like political bull ****, my families breaking up, social life, and life altogether. do you think i starting to get the idea of what to write about??
"I will not rest untill the noise has stopped"-Vishus
Last edited by punkrocker_336 at May 23, 2006,
#2
assuming that you can read, try checking out the FAQS for a change
Quote by HendrixEdge
My work will never be to the majority's tastes; and to be honest; I've no problem in accepting that.


If the doors of perception were cleansed, every thing would appear to man as it is, infinite.
#4
Lyrics are too straight forward. Nothing at all is grabbing me. Use metaphors, keep us guessing...these sound like notes that I leave for my wife on the frige, lol. You sound very young...keep it up!
#5
yea i'm 13, and not to be like a pussy or nothin but the only reason i can write and stuff is because unlike many people my age i've been through some **** so yea thanks for the comment man i'll try to do that
"I will not rest untill the noise has stopped"-Vishus
#6
i am posting for my friend, #1 Synth, who cannot critique this because he has no arms. but he wanted me to say this-


1. READ THE F'IN FAQS
2. READ THE F'IN LYRICS TIPS THREADS
3. AGE DOESNT MATTER STOP TRYING TO GET SYMPATHY BECAUSE OF YOUR AGE, AGE DOESNT MATTER EXPERIENCE DOES
4. READ THE ****ING LYRICS TIPS THREAD
and 5. see four
Quote by HendrixEdge
My work will never be to the majority's tastes; and to be honest; I've no problem in accepting that.


If the doors of perception were cleansed, every thing would appear to man as it is, infinite.