#1
This was my old id and i had written a song from it and the thread was closed due to no name given to it now i want to revive the thread.plz post comments.here it comes-

it is more like a poem than a song, atleast i thnk so...please voice your'e opinion...cuz it is my frst song.

as the birds fly across the garbage paled sky
and the dust blows in all directions
i swirve.......
amidst pain and suffering
i swirve watching as children cry
and widows mourn
and then thet tell me it is justified

is this not a lie?
is it justified to kill milions
to leave people homeless

in the ruins of a destroyed country
i walk....i walk and cry
all this is one man's doing
and we as fools praise that one man
the one man who shall be the end of us
the end of the world
and the end of humanity

the prisons are full of inocents
the inocent tortured
is it their fault if they are muslims
does your reliegon predict fate?
aren't we all sons of the same father

temme if it is gud!.very political but i love it!.
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#2
It simply is complaining too much. I personally don't like it much, but that is based on style. Lyrically it is O.K.
#3
I think people are generally over thinking too much when they write songs these days the greatest songs are those straight from your heart not your brain where this seems to be from.

Evil Monkey...
#6
I write poems and Rap lyrics so, I'm not sure if it's really the same as rock lyrics. I liked where you were going but you could have worded it better. Also, it would help if you used some word play and more **** like, metaphores, similies, etc....that makes the song so much more then it is....But it's not bad for ya 1st song, keep working on it....
"Purple Haze, All In My Brain. Lately Things Don't Seem The Same. Actin' Funny But I Don't Know Why. Excuse me, While I Kiss The Sky....Purple Haze All In My Eye's, Don't Know If It's Day Or Night" -Hendrix
#7
well...for ppl who dun like political songs heres one i wrote-

as i stare at these blank walls
my life unfolds
a sadness grips me
was i supposed to be like this
is evryone out there to get me
am i alone....

screw life and all its complications
cuz tonight....
is the night i die

i hold a knife in my hand
ready to cut through the gland
knowone really cares
people just watch and stare
as it all ends
i am alone.....

screw life and its complications
cuz tonight....
is the night i die

still working on the rest but this is a start