#1
Hey everyone, this is my first post, I saw alot of great lyrics posted so I thought I would share one the songs I wrote about alcool and drug addictions. It's recorded on a demo but I would appreciate feedback on how to improve it for the actual CD. Thanks

OUT OF TIME

It's not the life I want to lead
Temptations washing over me
I live a bottle at a time
Slowly losing all that's mine

You set my demons free
Taking control over me
Without you I lose my mind
Like a timebomb out of time

I am alone, alone everyday
Dreaming of a second chance
Won't someone just please come and take me away
Steer me in the right direction

I lie awakw in bed
Conceding thoughts rest in my head
The pressure's rising it's to late
Addictions won and had there way

I fall lifeless to the floor
It's not enough I'm wanting more
I've had enough I cannot stay
I close my eyes and fade away

I am alone, alone everyday
Dreaming of a second chance
Won't someone just please come and take me away
Steer me in the right direction
#2
Interestingly enough, I was just thinking of writing a song about the same thing. The lyrics remind have a very eau de Blink 182 smell about them, I think. First of all, I hate the title, I don't think it appeals enough to the song you've written. The next verse is good especially the third line, it shows good creativity. Instead of "Temptations washing over me" how about "Temptations wash over my head" to improve the flow. The following stanza showed good potential to be a pre-chorus like thing. I am a big fan of the last line. It's quite a simple line but you can make it work effectively. As for the chorus (I'm guessing) it seems almost to simple to be in this song. I don't like it that much, and it's not catchy enough. The next verse is the best part of the song though, all the lines show a particular uniqueness and equal creativity. The following stanza alsi is good but I found that it seems to be weaker than the preceeding writing. Overall, it seems to have good potential and I'll give you a 8/10 for that. If you have time to cirt mine as well it would be apprecitaed, it's called "Swallowed Whole."
If The Archers Bows Have Broken, Then I Hope To God They Know How To Fight.