#1
Well, it would be an understatement to say that my "Nanking" instrumental didn't get too much enthusiasm. So, I took out the screaming, and completely changed the lyrics

So, this song, although musically the same, now has nothing to do with the Nanking Massacre - rather, it deals with an altogether different subject.

Unlike last time, this now has vocals! And, in my humble opinion, they're some of the only vocals I've ever done that don't flat out suck.

Anyways, the song's called Something With Heart, and you can find it here:
http://horriblemusic.dmusic.com/

Here are the lyrics:

Sitting here, with a diluted stare
All that surrounds, is a broken air
We cry and moan, say ?life?s not fair?
Want someone to listen, but no one?s there
And in our eyes, we are victimized
The product of, corrupt social lines
I think that we could all use a good
Slap on the back (or a shot in the foot!)

This is our generation
We pity ourselves through imagination
Our lives are the worst, we?re always hurt
Wake up from this self-damnation!

Fighting life, with an inward knife
Stab myself just to see what it?s like
We?re bored and tired, never inspired
The match has been lit, now where?s the fire?
So what do you do when life?s so good?
We have it all, but is it really enough?
Waiting for, something to start
Praying for, something with heart


Crit for crit

Ps, please let me know what you think of the vocals, I spent a whopping 2 hours to perfect 'em!
#2
hHaha i think calling a track nanjing and putting screaming noises at the start is horriblely funny...

I like it but the screaming gets sort of creepy after awhile.

you should just have the sreaming for a short part at the start and then a full band part for the rest.

the other guitar would do better to come in earlier so the riff doesnt get old. also the guitar effects make it sound like a jet landing
Last edited by silentdud at May 26, 2006,
#3
^ Hm I don't think you listened to the right track...

The song is called Something With Heart, and I believe you listened to Nanking...
#5
haha i agree this is much better than nanking.......your vocals are pretty decent, it sounds like you harmonized pretty good...they are very mellow, if that was what you were trying to get at.....it seems like a good driving through the rain at night song haha if that makes sense....the guitar is a bit too quiet IMO, especially compared to the solo, but not much else to say than that, great job and thanks for checkin my stuff out!
#6
I keep noticing that the vocals are off pitch quite often, but not by much. The singing fits the guitar quite nicely, it's a very peaceful song, and i like it a lot. The backwards-sounding guitar is an absolutely awesome touch, but at about 2:55 it overpowers everything else..maybe you ought to lower the levels on that a bit at that spot. Other than that, it's quite good, keep it up
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#7
Reminds of some older oasis stuff, I like the vocal layering... the solo part is really funky but it overpowers the vocals around 3:00. It's still better then I could do, nice work 7/10 easily just try to keep the vocals more on pitch and make them louder !
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#8
Quote by silentdud
oooo ill liswten to the new one hold on... its really late though i will review it in the morning so i can give it my full attention
Well, I'm waiting
#9
I love it. Vocals aren't great, but it is very peaceful and serene. The overdriven guitar sounds like ass though. But very nice.
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#10
^ Do you mean the part after the "solo"? If so, is it because it needs to be softer, or you jus't don't like the tone, or something else?

I myself thought it sounded good
#11
The concept of what you're playing is fine, but the tone sounds like a one-legged man taking a **** in the subway while being beaten to death. Understand? In other words, it's not good tone.
Originally Posted by sadistic_monkey
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Ibanez Rg320DX (81/85)
Alvarez Classic Electric
B-52 AT-100
Roland Cube 15
Marshall Avt Cab
Crate Blue Voodoo Cab (V30's)
#13
that was interesting......and the part with the overdriven guitar at the end was a bit overpowering and a bit too distorted for the song.......i liked the rest it was calming.....and thank u for listening to mine
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#14
ok I got around to listening lets see.

1. "diluted" doesnt fit the timing
2. the first guitar chord is off, this would sound better on acoustic...
3. I LIKE THE lyrics though... the stereo kills the song..
4. haha some of the words dont ryhm at all no offense.

5. the solo isnt bad it just sounds like the guitar has alot of effects on it.

i like the effects though they seem to fit

not much else to say


Crit for Crit
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=366092
#15
^ When you say the first guitar chord is off, and it would be better acoustic, which part are you talking about? The first guitar chord is acoustic...

Also, I didn't necessarily intend to have every line rhyme with the other - that's more of a pop kind of thing.

And, I didn't use any effects at all for the solo, unless you mean playing something in reverse...

Thanks for the feedback though