my attempt at something a bit psychedelic, any crit is welcome

Walking in the concrete jungle
Clouds suddenly fall from the sky
In spite of this I carry on with my journey
No part of me ever wonders why
The river flows on around me
The currents pull me under
I let myself be carried
To the land of liquorice and thunder
I feel as though I'm invisible
Like the shadows in their eyes
No one ever looks at me
But I see the tigers flying in their minds
Swimming in the sea of stars
Tingles run up my spine
I search all around me
In this there is no one of my kind
I find myself on the road back home
When golden hail rises from the floor
I run and look for safety
But no one will let me past their door
Founder of Jaco society

[22:08:23] <Confusius> I wish I was a bassist
[22:08:26] <Confusius> you fuckers look cool

Want to know how to play bass in jazz? Read this.
Last edited by sinan90 at May 27, 2006,
this is cool psychadelic imagery, and flow but i won't get on ur case about the spelling error of their. u used ur imagination and that's a good thing to have especially if ur a song writer.