#1
never really wrote a song before thought i try =/

hopless exsistance in a home.
where no one notices what you do. (no one notices)
feeling like a mummy in a forgotten tomb.
there nothing left to do.

how can i get there attention on me.
i could fight
i could bite
and i could loose control
i could crush
i could stomp
but they still wouldnt know
should i give up, break down or let it go.

(talked)
i have a hopless exsistance in a home
where no one notices what i do
im like a mummy in a forgotten tomb with nothing to do.

WANTING NEEDING AND FEEDING
still i hunger for what they got
i have not
nothing to show for years of living
but i go on searching

will i ever find what i deserve
a loving home
where they see me (and hear me)
feeling like a king on a throne......
#2
Well I'd like to know what inspired you to write a piece like that, I'm nt too sure what it's about.

One thing I can definitaly say is please get some sort of spellchecker, either on your pc or someone reading over your shoulder. There are many mispelled words in that which make it harder to read.

If you could check out "Tears as I Leave" from my sig, it would be much appreciated.
#3
I think it has potential, but I wasn't feeling anything with it. I really don't like songs with no chorus, and I didn't see a chorus. The song does have some potential the line "feeling like a mommy in a forgotten tomb" was great. really liked that
have a look at mine (in my sig) preferably the 1st one.