#1
heres a little ditty i wrote after a revelation about addiction and what it does to a person. please crit and tell me what you think, i think a community of like-minded guitarists will understand my lyrics/poetry better than my sister or my boyfriend.


he loves you to pieces, three coke lines wide!

he loves you.
he loves the shimmering white essence, powdering soul
of you.
he loves the way he makes you sway,
and metamorphasize into something worth dying for,
someone worth lying for.

can you see the liars eyes?
hes lying just for you!
what a sacrifice,
what a man.

he loves you so much, in fact.. he loves you three lines wide!
two won?t get him high,
and four, he cant afford.

so really, he loves you..
he loves you three lines wide.

and your friends over there,
they love you three hits deep.
thats like four-hundred and twenty feet deeper than steep.
youre so ****in lucky to be loved so steep.
so ****in lucky to be dug so deep.
(you cant get out.)
-liz collin
and your friends over there, they love you three hits deep.
thats like four-hundred and twenty feet deeper than steep.
youre so fuckin lucky to be loved so steep.
so fuckin lucky to be dug so deep.
(you cant get out.)
#2
speaking from the perspective of someone who uses...

it doesn't sound like you know too much about the subject. i mean, interesting imagery and some of your rhyming devices are interesting, but... eh...

it's okay.
No need to hurry, we might as well wait
World War Three isn't on until eight
#3
well no, i do use.
yeah i realized that was a fault, it was more about someone so deep into they would give up anything for it..which ive seen happening with a couple friends of mine, one in particular that really pisses me off.
i suppose the poem sounds a little naive.
****.
and your friends over there, they love you three hits deep.
thats like four-hundred and twenty feet deeper than steep.
youre so fuckin lucky to be loved so steep.
so fuckin lucky to be dug so deep.
(you cant get out.)