#1
slow tempo + acoustic guitar
not too sure about the chorus , be good to see what you think
crit 4 crit



*drift away*

the sea washes in , day after day
the sea washes out , take me away

the suns setting , with the heavens above
what will it take , to find your true love

dont let the sea drift away,
your goals your dreams
your here to stay
your number one
thats where you'll be
standing tall as high as can be


the stars twinkling , high in the sky
your not the one , who goes for any guy

now i can see , by what you know
why i fell for your heavenly glow


dont let the sea drift away,
my goals my dreams
im here to stay
your number one
thats where you'll be
why cant it be just you and me

vocal or guitar solo

now your alone , standing there
how does it feel , when nobody cares

ive moved on , from you and me
its gone on too long , now im free


you let the sea drift away,
your goals your dreams
are hours aways
your number one
or at least you were
its your fault , you made it occur


the sea washed in , day after day
the sea washed out , took you away

repeat fading out


thanks
Augutus Gloop
#2
I would take out the second line of the chorus. I'd leave it with the metephorical first line, as it would be better without explaining the metephor.

I also think that you need to try and make it flow a bit better. Maybe:

Don't let the sea drift away
Cos I'm here to stay
Your number one
Cos thats where you'll be
Standing so tall
As high as a tree

I dunno..I'm not much of a chorus maker either. Also with that I tried to avoid the repetition with rhyming with "be".

I can see what your going for here, and I think it's done well. I think a bit of time spent with perfecting the chorus and you're good to go.

If you could crit "Tears as I Leave" in my sig. Many thanks.