#1
You feel that longing? Deeper?
Well it?s only there for answers
And the words I used to follow
They?re now nothing but the dancers
Leaping strides at the catching man
Too bad he?s gone away
Maybe you should think of that
Because where is he today?

If you were special, I?d kill this for us
If you were more, I?d kill this for us
If I gave a damn, I?d hate you for this
But deceptions what you live for

I?ll leave you gasping for more
Like the air you used to breathe
Every second with you was wasted
Every minute, another tease
So I?ll suck it in and go along
And show jealousy in phases
Tomorrow comes the ignorance
Tuesday come the phasers

(Whispered intensely)
I?ll leave you gasping for more
I still feel light around you
And i'll burn the ground anew
I'll leave you gasping...

(Sung properly)
So you say you know the feelings
They are multiplying here
Today you feel nothing
Tomorrow you?ll be scared
You made a wrong choice, know it
And now you can?t change your mind
I?m listening to our favourite song
Do remember when you caught fire?

I?ll leave you gasping for more
Like the air you used to breathe
Every second with you was wasted
Every minute, another tease
So I?ll suck it in and go along
And show jealousy in phases
Tomorrow comes the uncaring ness
Tuesday come the phasers
And I?ll compensate with interest
Your headfu*ks and deceptions
I?ll lower down the barricades
And show you mixed opinions
You think you know the real me
But I?ve told you before you don?t
Well Tuesday come the phasers
And i'm tied up by the throat

________________________________________________________________

Hey people, angry song, not my usual stuff and it's not as strong as i wished it would be, plus my use of words isn't at it's best...

Hope you enjoyed it anyway
Need Singing Advice?; Read the first page then ask questions.

Quote by punkman_123
Damn Auals, you're messed up. :P


Quote by ZanasCross
This just reminded me of the time that my brother in law texted his mom on the night after his wedding. All it said was "Consummated."
Last edited by Auals at May 31, 2006,
#2
i enjoyed it. and yeah, it is an angry song. it's still good, though. it was really easy to think of this as a song.


i really like this part:

If you were special, I?d kill this for us
If you were more, I?d kill this for us
If I gave a damn, I?d hate you for this
But deceptions what you live for

i think it really sets the idea in stone.
Quote by forty-six_and_2
Whoa I just had a revelation: What if god is a dog?A big white fluffy dog that drools a lot and pees on random people and humps strangers' legs?
Quote by 0fishaleded
Wait..if someone owns a dog that does that..WTF
Quote by forty-six_and_2
Than...they own god! That's it. I'm getting a dog.
#3
Thanks Ally you rule, anymore please?
Need Singing Advice?; Read the first page then ask questions.

Quote by punkman_123
Damn Auals, you're messed up. :P


Quote by ZanasCross
This just reminded me of the time that my brother in law texted his mom on the night after his wedding. All it said was "Consummated."
#4
I thought this was effective apart from the second and fourth stanzas, which were far too blunt and bland. The use of a refrain somewhere was pretty decent.

It's always hard to write an interesting piece about this kind of subject. 'uncaring ness' in the last stanza really needs to be altered. The finishing line was OK, mainly because it suited the tone well.

Overall it's a bit of a rant, but one which contains unusual intelligence for such a piece. Not bad Mr. Auals.

P.S. I'll send you a piece for another one-on-one if you want.
#5
cool. very cool. i liked it. write some music for it.
I R tr00 Member of UG's Gain \/\/hores - don't pm gpderek09 to join unless you are truly worthy
www.purevolume.com/mordecaiaus
Quote by xifr
There is the possibility that I may have or may or may not have gone or not gone into the danger zone.


Quote by lespaulmarshall
I love you Joel
#6
Thanks guys, thanks heaps, this piece was aimed at the slut of an ex girlfriend i have lot, slightly harsh but deserving of the title... not that i'm annoyed... anyway, moving on

CJW, i will happily take you on, 1 point only though sorry, i'm kinda down on points, as soon as i get a piece worth fighting you with i will go, i am tempted to go back to some old pieces, i have exams right now so as soon as that's done i'll send you one... Kudos

Thanks everyone
Need Singing Advice?; Read the first page then ask questions.

Quote by punkman_123
Damn Auals, you're messed up. :P


Quote by ZanasCross
This just reminded me of the time that my brother in law texted his mom on the night after his wedding. All it said was "Consummated."
#7
Updated people, any new things to say?
Need Singing Advice?; Read the first page then ask questions.

Quote by punkman_123
Damn Auals, you're messed up. :P


Quote by ZanasCross
This just reminded me of the time that my brother in law texted his mom on the night after his wedding. All it said was "Consummated."