#1
Did you ever Love Me?
Did you ever care?
When you put your arms arround me,
When you lay stroking my hair.

What if i had let you go?
What if i had said goodbye?
Would you ever let it show?
All the tears you never cried.

No you never really loved me,
no you never really cared,
when you put your arms arround me,
was your heart really there?

what kind of fool am i?
to have bought it all along,
when i lake awake at night,
i ask myself what went wrong?

but you never really loved me,
no you never really cared,
when you put your arms arround me,
your heart was never there. (x 2)

Crits please
#2
It might make a OK song, but it is really simple. It is the same as a million other songs/poems.
#3
yeah it does when u just read it but with the guitar part n drums i hav for it its not what you'd expect
#4
A lack of poetic devices and varied rhyming lets this down. As said above, it's also a simple and repeated idea, and with nothing special to mark this from the rest, it gets 6/10, tops. Keep going though, I'm sure with more expericne you cold come back to this and improve it.
#5
as sed above with the drum n guitar to it it isnt as simple, and to your information i have alot of experience just im experimenting with different styles.
#6
Quote by CuteLilM
as sed above with the drum n guitar to it it isnt as simple, and to your information i have alot of experience just im experimenting with different styles.



Well that may be true, but you're asking for c n 'c for the lyrics . As stated before, I think it's very simple and basic, like the stuff you hear when you turn on the radio. Sure, with some good guitar/drum work, this song could be really good, but the lyrics are pretty boring.