#1
allright so the music for this (pt 1 only) is in the key of am with strumming and picking reminiscent of ghost riders in the sky. this track is all guitar for instruments. this is only part 1. there are two more in the works. and ya i know it sounds kind of cliche

pt1.

The bonfire burns brighter than god
and the whiskey cant save my soul
the bed of roses on which i lay
is just a bed of thorns...

the moon hangs in solemn witness
for the dead i pray
and into the night i will ride
along my lonely highway...

looking for a place to call home
some hope for tomorow
a place to lay my weary head
and drown away my sorrow...

the highway and the blowing wind
the fire and the dust
theres nothing left inside of me
except a heart of rust...

the six string sings my soul
onto the breeze
and the pinpoint stars
force me to my knees...

cold night, i will die
on this lonely road
and i will never find
my far off home...(drums enter and guitar switches to distortion and leads into part 2)
#2
Sounds like that Springsteen song, 'The Ballad of Tom Joad'. Something along those lines, I lost that cd.

It's solid. Quiet, meandering soul-searching is nothing new, but it would make a nice song.
-Landon
#4
ya i know it doesnt rhyme, im experimenting with free verse and music cuse i've been writing poetry for a long time now and i want to try and construct something with the least amount of restrictions, part 1 is becoming a mood setter for the heavier part 2 where theres more of a message and alot more imagery because i want to try and paint a picture in the listeners mind.
#5
It doesn't need to rhyme to be good. Non-rhyme gives the writer much more freedom in word choice. This has rhyme in it anyway.

Anyways I enjoyed the piece. Your right, it does sound a tad cliche, but it still has enough inividuality in it to stand out from the crowd.

Like the second stanza. Good job 7/10.

Crit back? "Escapade" is in my sig.
#6
This is pretty nice. Like Sid said, it definitely seems to have a Brucey ring to it, which can't be a bad thing.
There's a few little touches that add to it: 'six string' - that's a decent addition.

Altogether fairly good, and is promising for part 2!