#1
verse

how can you live this lie over your conscious
it's time for you to feel this
know everything will come to full circle
i pity all those victims of your desertion

chorus

cast away into 32
how can you say it's all for nothing
when i would die for all of this
i'll show you what it takes to last

verse

you have become this thirsty animal
take advantage of every last inch of benevolence
i hope all the torture you put him through
fulfills your temporary satisfaction

chorus

bridge

and you're beating this love to death
take off the mask, show us the real you
suck it all dry till there is nothing left
ill show you what it takes to last

chorus
Last edited by Rymaninthebox at May 30, 2006,
#3
This is pretty good, I like. My favorite part of a line would have to be "your temporary satisfaction", brilliant use of words on that one, I like. Keep up the good work
#5
in the 3rd line of ur first verse, i think the word to kinda ruins the flow. nice use of words and i like it all.. good job and keep it up, and if u get a chance could u crit my song "the sun now rests" thanks bro
#6
yeah i see what you mean about breaking the flow. ill have to change that. thanks for the suggestion. glad you like it.
#7
when i would die for all of this
i'll show you what it takes to last

I loved these lines, brilliant!
I like this song alot actually, its very Blink182 ( i hope thats a compliment to you)
I dont have alot of suggestions for improvement cuz i dont think it needs improved =p
Can you crit mine for me? the link is in my sig.
Oh, and il give it a 9/10
xx
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