#1
crit for crits as always thanks im not to sure for the title on this one im kinda experimenting.


il fly in the skys
away from this world
dazed and confused thoughts through my brain
il never again feel an ounce of pain
you my say im wrong
so judge me now
my thoughts wont change no matter what you say
cause ill never be part of your intentonal fray
i really dont care
ill play things as they go
free spirited mind
because i dont really know
the thoughts on your mind
whats going threw your head
whats runing threw mind is best unsaid

in a concrete jungle is where the grass started new
here things started
the junkies brew
where the bussiness man made his move
where the homless boy found his shoes

curiously addicted to thoughts unknown
things never tried
but needing to know
to to grow hunger under the bridge
is making music with the man
things are all good
till you dont understand
so remeber i havent chosen this pittiful demise
ive mislead so have my blodshot eyes
come on now lets go higher please
il touch the sky but only on my knees
i desire more at this horrible time
im addicted to the moon a place mone climbed
far away higher than them all
alone i climbed
and dead il fall


in a concrete jungle is where the grass started new
here things started
the junkies brew
where the bussiness man made his move
where the homless boy found his shoes
#4
sure thing, i love psychedelic rock that was actually my intent with my song too
#5
Awesome!
Yeah I think psychedelic rock would be cool for this, if you play guitar/write you should definitely record it and post!

FinestImagery
...Gott weiss ich will kein Engel sein...
#7
Hey man I like they song. I only have one suggestion. In the chorus when you say, "where the homless boy found his shoes," you might try saying, "where the homless boy found some shoes." Saying "some" instead of "his" would imply more poverty. I don't know if that what you where going for, but its just a thought.
#9
Dude, definitely go classic rock! Also it is great. The one problem is that the chorus doesn't read fluently, but the music that you put to this song could make it fit. So without knowing the guitar riffs or anything you might want to reword a little of the chorus to make it fit. Over all very well done. I like it.

PS In case you don't know Kutless Rocks!
#10
depending on the riffs n so on it looks like it would make an awseome classic rock song the lyrics look great good luck with the rest of the song