#1
hey everyone,
i posted this song last night when i was half asleep, i read it this morning and realized it was crap. ive made the verses longer. the song is about a bombfire i went to recently with a girl and i got ditched. you crit mine, ill try to crit yours. the chorus is underlined.

Another Day Like Yesterday by: William Sitze
(chorus is underlined)

im lost, looking left
confused, looking right
story has been told
and it's the end of night

im lost, calling you
confused, no where near
you try so desperately
just so hard to disappear

Another day dowwwn
Another one is near
I can feel Youuu
Like You're almost here

So go ahead, nowww
Like you just don't care
I can feel Youuu
Like You're almost here
<-----(chorus)

now it's clear, I get the point
you're nowhere near, so i leave
I know, you try so hard
so hard, so desperately

now it's clear, think it once
you're nowhere near, think it twice
looking back, remember when
long ago, you were nice?

it's clear, I'm falling up
now vague, I'm falling down
end the night, go to bed
fall asleep, with a frown

it's clear, I hold your hand
now vague, you let me go
it's the end of night
and the story has been told

(chorus)

look at you, I'm jumping out
look away, I'm jumping in
the words, I wanna say
they are lost, in the wind

look at you, now it's clear
look away, all i see
staring off, in my thought
all i see, is you and me

It's your choice, kill me soon
It's up to you, kill me now
when, I hold you close
seems like your, always down

we are, bright as night
we could, be dark as day
tonight, this is it
tonight, you must beleive

(chorus)

im lost, looking left
confused, looking right
story has been told
and it's the end of night

im lost, calling you
confused, no where near
you try so desperately
so hard, to disappear

(chorus)(whispered)
I'm Back.


[STAY THIRSTY, MY FRIENDS]


When Autumn comes, it doesn't ask
It just walks in where it left you last
You never know when it starts
Until there's fog inside the glass around your summer heart
#2
its a nice song, has a nice definite beat I got while reading it, but unless you want it to be poppy you'd have to be careful of the Instruments rhythms. It sounds good, not the deepest or most beautifully worded piece ever written but it does very well as a song, has the right rhymes in the right places and keeps the Rhytm throughout without something odd jumping out at you.
songs: Left Behind choices
Quote by MadClownDisease
Well I can top you all, I've done my mum, my step brother AND a cat. As well as quite a few corpses.