this is just the first verse but watcha think so far?

my expression has been melted
my glory has been taken
still i will not let you tear this down
and further push my mediocrity
When the power of love conquers the love of power, the world will know peice- hendrix
good, ecept for the last line, doesnt fit.
songs: Left Behind choices
Quote by MadClownDisease
Well I can top you all, I've done my mum, my step brother AND a cat. As well as quite a few corpses.
Good, but it is impossible to give a fair crit without knowing the rest of the song.

plz crit
Bard Morons - Tick Tock Tick Tock
Quote by dnjoe
good, ecept for the last line, doesnt fit.

i agree,but maybe it will when we see the rest of the song.please crit kine perpetual nostalgia
your once gentle words are bleeding from my eyes ,screams of terror now fill my every breath...