#1
Keep going (I'll stop)
Keep walking (I'll drop)

Need you (Near me)
Need you (To hear me)

One day (I'll get though)
but not with (Out you)

Give me
You hand
Help me
To stand

No time (No Love)
My crime (Don't Shove)

Don't Wait (Move On)
Test Fate (withdrawn)

I feel (Just breath)
To real (Must leave)

Come closer (Want It)
Prue Hater (Have It)

On this
Red day
With you
I'll stay
Keeping me near
Save from my fear

*Guitar Solo*

(To hard) Give me
(Wont make it) You hand
(Wont work) Help me
(Cant take it) To stand

Future (My past)
conquer (Not fast)

End this (too soon)
Pain, Bliss (cocoon)

Take away (The spite)
Hide today (Your Right)

Run Back (Give in)
pitch-black (Our sin)

On this
Red day
With you
I'll stay
Keeping me near
Save from my fear


Have mercy XD
#2
This sounds very much like a dashboard confessional song. That,by the way, is a massive compliment.
I just think this is amazing, i really like it and i wouldnt change anything. It would be awesome with music i can imagine. 9/10 from me.
Could you crit mine? the link is in my sig =p
Quote by calvinthecanadi
I'm now an official Franzaholic.


Meep is a word.
Use it.
#3
this could be terrible or quite good, depending on how its done in song format.
songs: Left Behind choices
Quote by MadClownDisease
Well I can top you all, I've done my mum, my step brother AND a cat. As well as quite a few corpses.
#4
Nail on the head, dnjoe. What sort of style were you planning for this, Zen?

I found the parts in brackets interesting, although I thought a couple of the rhymes were forced. However, I thought most the rhyming was solid, the flow is good, and I suppose the structure works.

Nice job on the lyrics, but needs the right music methinks.
#5
What sort of style were you planning for this, Zen?


I was thinking. As it is my prefered style of music. Hard rock to Metal.

But on the total flip side I like piano rock....So im not 100% on that one.

Thanks for the Ever kind comments