#1
fireflies

and i?m delimited by this place
merely you and i in this situate
with our arms weaving together
veracity of our long lost dreams

i?ll shelter you against all taunts
in the midst of affection we shall dwell
for we have establish heaven
within our own flesh and blood

our heartbeats in solemn harmony
our lungs in solitary rhythm
blood hastening in the course of our veins
throb of our profound affection awakens

fireflies enclose our place
convey warmth against the wintry world
our hands truss against each other
holding on never letting go

thy eyes signify beauty
my heavens illustrate your silhouette
dreams reveal your beautiful countenance
gratified in reality because of you


this is my work..could you please comment my work and give me new ideas? thanks!


emo_iyak@yahoo.com
#3
hey hey, i really like this peice of work. I didnt think i would because normally i dont dig this kind of stuff, but i love this.

thy eyes signify beauty
my heavens illustrate your silhouette
dreams reveal your beautiful countenance
gratified in reality because of you


Brilliant, and very pretty...i love the use of the word "thy" here....you dont get alot of thy these days, but it really works.
10/10 from me.
Crit mine? the link is in my sig xxx
Quote by calvinthecanadi
I'm now an official Franzaholic.


Meep is a word.
Use it.