#1
It never works
I always fall
You drive me down
You take it all
Only thing I want
Is for me to be me
Not who you want
And Not what they want
It's the dream I see


I want to be free
I want to be me
I'm tired of this
Tired of the numbness

Let me go
Let me run away
Let me forget all of this
And let new memories stay

It never works
I always fall
You drive me down
You take it all
Only thing I want
Is for me to be me
Not who you want
Not what they want
It's all I need


I don't know what you want me to be
Under this pressure of walking in your shoes
Every step I take
is just another mistake to you

The lessons that you taught me
I know find were never true
Inside you laughed everytime
I said I love you

It never works
I always fall
You drive me down
You take it all
Only thing I want
Is for me to be me
Not who you want
Not what they want
It's all I need
#5
I think, like amy, that in parts it was forced but on the whole it seemed ok. It wasn't too bad at all but in quite a few places it was badly cliched. This would be ok as the style of song you are suggesting but i wouldn't say it's a brilliant literary example

So basically, it's ok.
#6
I would agree that sone of it is forced. It was a cliche piece because it's quite simply done, one thing would be to maybe chnage the rhyme scheme to something a little different, or use more imagery and metephor.

Only thing I want
Is for me to be me
Not who you want
Not what they want
It's all I need


I felt that part was kind of weak, didn't like the "want"'s all n there. I also felt that the flow suffred becuase of that.

Overall though, not bad going. Keep it up.
#7
is there a story behind the song?

"Let me go
Let me run away
Let me forget all of this
And let new memories stay"

sounds all to familiar with lots of other songs


"I don't know what you want me to be
Under this pressure of walking in your shoes
Every step I take
is just another mistake to you"

i liked this stanza alot, i can sort of relate to it, good stuff there.