#1
This is an acoustic song I put together, a while back. I just would like to see what you think.
-thanks Brian


Pulsing veins, lie here
Tied to the back of the light
Knees hurt, count the dosage
Bring me the truth while I close your eyes

Shaking hands,
Where's my Scalpel?

Shaking hands,
Where's my Scalpel?

Asphyxic wounds, buried
Bled along the inside
Loathing eyes, mirror screams
And my lashes fall to silent

Shaking hands,
Where's my Scalpel?

Shaking hands,
Where's my Scalpel?

Your the architect
Make your incision
Objections fall into your niche
And skins appalling petals...
#4
Maybe I'm an idiot, well I am, but I don't get the title. It is good. Lyrically it isn't bad at all. I just don't get the title.

PS This more than a little depressing

plz crit
Bard Morons - Tick Tock Tick Tock
#5
Quote by Bard Morons
Maybe I'm an idiot, well I am, but I don't get the title. It is good. Lyrically it isn't bad at all. I just don't get the title.

PS This more than a little depressing

plz crit
Bard Morons - Tick Tock Tick Tock


I assume the song's about plastic surgery and how so many people want to look perfect, and thin... hence *diet* coke.
#6
I like it. But the only problem I have is that it ends somewhat abruptly. It seems like you could have further indwelled on why the "architect" is "making the inscision" about the feelings of the person's feelings of the surgery he or she is undergoing. But I will give it a 7/10 with room for improvement if added on.
#7
Muphin, you're pretty close to the reason I chose the title. It is because we as humans are so eager to change ourselves for perfection, and plus diet coke makes your hands shaky. I'm not sure what is in it that makes your hands shake, I only know this because I take a stippling course in art. Also GuitarDeath1124 I thank you for your critisism and suggestions.
And skins appalling petals...