#1
Hey everybody! this is my tribute to
the late and great Dime!
Hope u like it......its also
my first poem...but no excuses! crit4crit

Seems like only yesterday
Your laughter was so full of joy
Seems like only yesterday
The look in your eyes full of life

Seems like only yesterday
Your figure began to fade
Seems like only yesterday
Silence took over you

Feels like its been forever
Since i lost something inside
Now its been forever
Since you left my side

Seems like only yesterday
All the joy left your laughter
Seems like only yesterday
All the life left your eyes

The sound of your inexistence
Brings grief to my eyes
Tears that wiil never dry
#2
I think its pretty well writen, the band my cousins in (ACF) play a song writen about dime

plz crit "my hearts on fire"
#4
Quote by *Leftout*


Hey everybody! this is my tribute to
the late and great Dime!
Hope u like it......its also
my first poem...but no excuses! crit4crit

Seems like only yesterday
Your laughter was so full of joy
Seems like only yesterday
The look in your eyes full of life

brings me to a sense of happiness but knowing its about dimebag i know depression awaits. i like this stanza its a good opening. i think i would change the last line to something like "Your eyes were once two spheres of life" somethine like that maybe im wrong. but good opening

Seems like only yesterday
Your figure began to fade
Seems like only yesterday
Silence took over you

in comes the depression. i think you i would change the last line to "silence spelled your name" something like that, it still deals with identity and it gives it more of a flow but thats my suggestion, another good stanza.

Feels like its been forever
Since i lost something inside
Now its been forever
Since you left my side

nothing to wrong with the stanza a bit cliche but hey its about dimebag so its cool, and besides cliches arent always bad, and this is definately not bad. another good stanza

Seems like only yesterday
All the joy left your laughter
Seems like only yesterday
All the life left your eyes

yep depressing once again but still good to remember good ol dimebag. this is one of my favorite stanzas so far. nice job

The sound of your inexistence
Brings grief to my eyes
Tears that wiil never dry


the ending. i really like the ending and the fact that it is a three lined stanza, its like ruining the structure but adding more to this affect that you do miss dimebag, that his death made a little piece in your life go missing. thats what im getting from this poem. nice ending


over all i think it was a good write a bit cliched but not morbidly cliche so its very good. i like writings like this, if you get a chance wanna check out mine. heres the link

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=369448
anybody wanna put anything here just let me know
#5
yeah good tribute...Avenged sevenfolds had a tribute for dimebag " Betrayed " did you get the idea from them?
#6
I quite like the personal touch you gave it, I see less of the cliche as I know of the topic but the third stanza is nice. I'm glad you touched on the spiritual closeness that many people get from people they look up to and are influenced by, this shows here. It also shows that you arn't afraid to hold back anything on how you're feeling on such an extreme and personal topic. I can't call it cliche because it just feels like you said what you naturally intended to say in this poem, so well done on that.
#7
Hey thanks everybody 4 ur crits ill get back 2 each of
u asap!
no actually ive never heard 'betrayed'