#1
first i read a book, then wrote a poem, then read the poem and thought, i can make a song out of this. but it sounds nothing like the poem. Feedback much requested and desired.

V1
A game we played as children
Followed us to now
I want to know who's Simon
And I want to know how

CH
SImon Says bend over
And we say how far
Simon Says you're worthless
And it becomes a scar

V2
I guess that we're still playing
But it's constantly denied
"I am my own person"
Nonconformity has died

CH

BR (whispered under pounding chords, I have written beside it)
You could be you
You could be true
BUt caught in the game
Of puppetry
You can't even see

CHx2

When I first wrote it out, I had "individuality has died", but this seemed to flow better, what do you think?
#3
I like it alot. I thought it was really cool how the theme was about simon says. Very interesting. You dont have to use this but i thought that the second line was a little bit short. Maybe you could say followed us through to now? Well either way it is a great song. Good job. If you get a chance could you crit my song in my sig.
#6
V1
A game we played as children
Followed us to now
I want to know who's Simon
And I want to know how Great start. But the third line doesnt really work well for me. Maybe "i want to know who Simon is" would be better?

CH
SImon Says bend over
And we say how far
Simon Says you're worthless
And it becomes a scar The rhymes were simple but they worked well here

V2
I guess that we're still playing
But it's constantly denied
"I am my own person"
Nonconformity has died Nice
CH

BR (whispered under pounding chords, I have written beside it)
You could be you
You could be true
BUt caught in the game
Of puppetry
You can't even see

CHx2

When I first wrote it out, I had "individuality has died", but this seemed to flow better, what do you think?
This piece works quite well and the idea behind it is good. i'd give it a 7/10.
#7
Good stuff. Liked the whole Simon Says thing with the nonconformity line- I thought it worked really well. Like, really well.

I'm sorry, I have nothing really constructive to say, there's nothing really bad about this. A little short, yes, maybe another verse inbetween the bridge and last choruses, but that's all I can suggest.

If you could be as to return the favour here . It would be much appreciated.
#8
nice song...like the theme of simon says...anyway.

I though it could have flowed a little better in some parts, and you didn't use very good imagery in the first verse, but other than that it is good.(sry for the crappy crit, but there isn't much to say, or i'm just not paying attention).

9/10

Could you crit mine if you have time? the links in the sig.

thx, and good job .
#9
i really liked this one. very simple, but it's an interesting take on the many nonconformity songs we hear on the radio nowdays. i know i'm just saying what everyone else already has, but i would like to see this song really develop. perhaps even adding a 3rd verse might help, but as it is, i like it.

8/10

i would love to get some of your feedback on either of the two songs in my sig.