#1
Well, there's a story behind this one. Dun-dun-dun. Going for a folky type song, and the lyrics do have a meaning but are presented in a childlike manner. It's meant to written in an almost childlike and simplistic way just so as you know. Any comments welcome, leave a link/title and I'll crit-for-crit.

King & The Jester Blues

There's a castle in the sky built up and made of sand,
There's a rich king living there but he just can't understand,
So the people brought him diamonds and chains of gold,
In walked the strangers and the promises they hold.

Now the youthful court jester was poorer than the king,
But he was infectiously happy and always willing to sing,
And the people they loved him and he loved them all too,
Of the people and for the people he had always stayed true.

The king spoke only of riches and only to those he saw fit,
While the jester was a man of love and peace and that was it,
And the king lusted for money beyond his wildest desires,
He always addressed his people with the tongue of a thousand liars.

But it was the jester who the king could not figure out,
Wanted to know his secrets and offered to buy him out,
But the jester said "Oh if you could only know what I know"
And in his mind the king decided that he had got to go.

The jester said "the feelings and thoughts my mind can concieve,
Are so much more than your wealth and greed can ever achieve,"
The king he just laughed and with a shot all his kingdom shook,
The jester now cold and lifeless with nothing but a vacant look.

And the jester died as a martyr for what was his belief,
The rich man took the power back like a common thief,
He stole the people's love and he stole the starring role,
Stole away laughter and stole the music of the soul.
#2
It was great, I thought, I really got that fun, folky sound. Although I did think the ending ruined the postivie mood you had created.

Good stuff, though, nice rhyming, and totally got the style and atmosphere of the piece. Could imagine and acoustic just playing underneath it.
#3
this piece flowed really well all throughout, and i really enjoyed reading it. great concept man.

the only thing i would maybe critisize about this piece was the continuity of the 4 line stanza over and over. the same pattern yknow? don't get me wrong, this piece is good, but like... i dunno, the rhythm and structure gets a litte boring IMO.

maybe add a bridge in or middle bit with a different rhythm?

good job though, your lyrics are great
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