#1
I wrote this song the other day after coming out of a writer's block...I would appreciate any comments or thoughts you guys have on it...I hope it means something to you as it does to me....


"Blue Skies"

Sifting into nothingness
A burden and a cross
Its hard to stay and not forget
The faces that we've lost
And now something confines me
Like a rat that's in its cage
These broken wings are mending
But the scars don't heal with age

And the blue skies keep falling down...

Regret and temptation
Keeping me up late at night
The bleakest black is coming back
To smuther out my light
But I won't give in this time
I won't let the Pusher bring me down
'Cause deep inside I'm sanctified
Every time you come around

And the blue skies keep falling down....

The translation of the past has come
To wash away the sea
Let it flow into my heart
Let it set me free
Blinded by the smell of you
The perfume at your feet
You never once have let me down
With that I can't compete

And the blue skies keep falling down....

I'll walk a thousand miles
Before the pain catches up to me
Sitting in a chapel, praying
Dropping down upon my knees
Staring at my wrists
Looking at what I've become
Tear apart the ugly bits
And help me become one

And the blue skies keep falling down....

Nothingness surrounds me
I'm drifting and I'm lost
All my sins forgiven
Jesus hanging from that cross
A punctured side, a broken bone
A crown of thorns, my king
An empty house, a broken home
There's no one left to sing

And the blue skies keep falling down....


-Matt Daly
"Peace, Love, and Stadium Arcadium"
#2
Hmmmm... I loved how the song flowed. It was very natural and smooth. I think that the song started out at its best, but towards the end, you seemed to use overdone Christian imagery and language (not to criticize the fact that its Christian, I'm an active Christian, some of the lines are just a tad cliche, is all). Besides that, the song was quite good. Mostly good word choice, great flow. Good job, man.

[EDIT]: Oh, and if you'd like, I'd love a crit on my song, too: https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=370964

thanks
Dem Dry Bones
Current read: I Am America (And You Can Too) (Stephen Colbert)
Album of the Week: Four Thieves Gone (The Avett Brothers)
#3
Quote by doctor_rocker
Hmmmm... I loved how the song flowed. It was very natural and smooth. I think that the song started out at its best,


can't say it any better than that, i, however, think that the Christianity theme was a great touch, instead of liability. overall nicely done.

If you have time, could you crit mine? the links in my sig.

thx .