#1
On the earth it lies; no false disguise
A one, two, three, four, five: alive
A setting of the fall time, short
To sway it all again

You should?ve lay down your life, should?ve stayed in bed
A six, seven, eight, nine, ten: your dead!
Landing at the all time short
Slow-ly?again


********************************
Playground police; planets collide
Late night TV; now bring the light!

The letters and the numbers rush into my
Veins
The learning game: epiphany, can you
Say
?Monopoly
********************


The space between our eyes, misty surprise
A drop down, stop dead, shining knife
Dancing like a world at war
You fail us again

We should?ve layed out your life, dragged you out of bed
Ten second rule, wishing your dead
The story of a life cut short
The aim, of a game


(Can you say?)
Serendipity
(Can you say?)
Geography
(Can you say?)
Nominate
(Can you say?)
Enough for me.
www.freewebs.com/silentproject
#2
I thought it was pretty good the on part i didn't like was:

Playground police; planets collide
Late night TV; now bring the light!

The letters and the numbers rush into my
Veins
The learning game: epiphany, can you
Say
?Monopoly

plz crit
My Hearts on Fire

Our Love was Cursed
#4
This was a great piece...all except for the second part, which was what stratkat said, i like the flow of the whole song, it just seems to melt together...well done.

If you have time, will you crit mine? the links in the sig.
thx .
#7
i liked it all apart from the 1,2,3,4,5 bits. thought the last two stanzas were really good. (can you please crit mine too? its in my sig)
VENUSIAN
FB SC BC TW
Patterns In The Ivy present ethnicity on an intriguing and dedicated level. ~Ambient Exotica
A mesmeric melange of yearning voice, delicate piano and carefully chosen samples. ~Lost Voices