#1
the chorus was written at work, mad at a customer, wrote it on an order slip. something like that. anything between *'s is screamed and sung at the same time - two "vocalists".

V1:
You always wanted to see me down
Gasping for breath on the ground
But I won't let you - I can't
I'll hide before you see defeat

CH:
*If you push*
I promise I'll pull
*If I fall*
you're comin down with me

V2
Always wanted to see me cry
But *guess what* - my eyes are dry
And I won't let you in to hurt
I'll stand my ground until the end

CH

V3
And you still want to see me bleed
I won't obey, I cannot heed
Your eyes are black and so empty
But oh they'll fill (just wait and see) - whispered

CH

solo

CH
#2
i read it at the fast paced sences fail type of sound and its not bad...
i kinda like it actually. would be a short song though
#4
the exilaring feeling of destruction is all over this
You´re just outside
#7
Please, bumping is looked down apon, and therefore, against the forum rules, please avoid it at all costs.
Quote by Qazxs
I got kicked out of a Mac store when me and my friends simultaneously put on meatspin on all of the computers in the store. Some eleven or twelve year old looking girls there freaked out.
#9
Well you said you had nothing to add
This is how i see the poem


V1:
wanted to see me down
Gasping for breath on the ground
I won't let you - I can't...
I deny defeat for your pleasure

CH:
*If you push*
I'll pull
*If I fall*
you're with me

V2
wanted to see me cry
my eyes are dry...
I won't let you see more pain
I'll stand my ground until the end

CH

V3
if you still want me bleedin
I won't... I cannot heed
Your eyes are black and empty
But oh they'll fill (just wait and see) - whispered

CH

solo


Simplicity is a winner
You´re just outside
#12
Quote by Drowning_Helena
I like it- I think it's awesome and just fine the way it is


Well it´s okay the way it is...but ussualy the "and" "so" and stuff like that makes the poem/lyric less effective, it´s just a matter of economy, economy is quality.
You´re just outside
#15
It is like too many other songs. You need this to be different from every other I hate you song.