#1
Unbound

Trying to reach the top of a goal in which you cannot achieve because some one is stopping you.

You walk up the hill, as you swallow your pill
They choke on everything, what will this bring?
You walk up the hill, you?ll go for a spill
Just like everyday, you?re making the biggest mistake

You walk up the hill, like Jack and Jill
Try to make it with ease, every time their bodies freeze
You walk up the hill, try to get to the top still
Wonder what?s inside the well, a tunnel right to your hell

Yeah, oh no so here we go
Yeah, here we go again

Why do you ask to hold my hand?
Why do you try to do it again?
So you wanna win the fight?
You father is in despite

Guitar solo

You walk up the hill, like Jack and Jill
Try to make it with ease, every time their bodies freeze
You walked right up that hill, followed each other?s will
You?re rolling down all around, hurting yourself unbound

Unbound is where you live, unbound is where you give
Unbound is where you pretend, where you wish it never end
Damn it all around
Damn it to a frown
Damn it all the sound
Damn it all unbound
#2
This a good piece, the Jack and Jill parts were half lame, and half great, (part of me wanted to think "awesome" the other wanted to bash my cpu screen).
Anyway, nice imagery and the whole thing has a great flow and feel to it. The ending part of "damn it..." was a great touch, the only part i don't get is the "father in despite" which doesn't really make sense.

Good job, could you crit mine if u have the time? The links are in the sig, and if you can only do one, i'd prefer you to crit stars of hope

thx
#4
We can all relate to this one, the father part, the "you" in it should be "your", type-o. It really speaks for itself, your father is in despite, he's shocked of what's become of people and you, it's not exactly pointed towards your father.