#1
My latest. I started writing this a few weeks ago and recorded it yesterday. It's about my ex-girlfriend (named Catherine, imagine that) who I still like, blahblahblah and the lyrics are basically my nostalgia about going out with her mixed with a letter she wrote me for my birthday (after our breakup). Part I is a song I wrote for her for Christmas before we broke up(that isn't finished, because after I recorded it I found the paper where I wrote the lyrics and I missed a verse when I recorded it, but meh). So yeah, I'm sure you all wanted to know that.

It's the longest song I've ever written - I really don't know how it turned out that long. Crazy.

It needs drums, and at places it seems like there's too much going on...like it's too muddy. I'm playing all the instruments, and except for the improv solo (which I kinda like, but is really sloppy) I can count one mistake and that's with the keyboard.

I'd love to know what you guys think. I'm proud of it.

http://tylercharles.dmusic.com - Catherine the Rye (Part II)

click here to stream

or you can listen to it at myspace if it's done processing by now. It's the one on the top.

The lyrics are here:

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=5792614

okay I changed the name to "Bonfires", so listen to that one instead
Last edited by ohdarn323 at Jun 6, 2006,
#2
you should be proud. its not my style at all but it sounds really good. you're a good singer. and the quality is really good. it sounds really well done.
#4
I just listened to part 1 by accident and I really like that. Streaming part 2 now. Sounds alot more produced than the first. 9:51, that's a long time. I'm listening to the low-fi stream because it was buffering too much on the other. I like the guitar, but I feel as if I've heard it all before. The verses are way too long in my opinion. It sounds like you are doing much the same thing with the backing vox as in part 1. Maybe have an extra voice in the backing and alternate between the two. Solo is a little out of tune and I don't like the dirty rythym part. I think you also needed a different progression when that kicked in. You did some cool things with the backing vox there, though. Some of the backings after the "heavy bit" sound a little off and some of the piano chords had some off notes (probably accidental hits). Don't really like the second solo- doesn't have enough flow. Nice sudden ending to the song.

Overall, too long to have only 2 progressions.

Here is my myspace:

http://www.myspace.com/seevousplay
#5
I really liked it but, on the muddy part you should've done the chords looser more Red house painters like, if you know what i mean. It was a really good song IMO and the first solo is awesome. the second one is too off.

and the lyrics, dude I love them. check out the myspace on my sig if you will, you may like it.

the acoustic guitar should be higher until the muddyer part like that guy said. I don't think it needs drums though.
the heart is a risky fuel to burn
Last edited by sponj at Jun 7, 2006,
#6
generally, it was good. i think the last solo was unnecessary, and your vocals for the "you and i yesterday.." part weren't too great. i also kinda really wanted it to explode at the "this is just a lie" part, but then i guess it would ruin the climax in the end.. unless you just exploded it for like that one verse following it and then went back down to barely audible again after. drums would really help for the "explosion" thing though, with any climaxes you may want to include.

were you the guy who did the song "now is the time" or something from 40,000 years ago? haha
#8
so are you going to cut out that last solo or what?
the heart is a risky fuel to burn
#9
I think it's good but I have one question: What's with all the vibrato? Were you really nervous and shaky or something while recording? Your voice sounds like your body is shaking.
Member #6 of the Agile LP over Epiphone LP Club. PM iamtehwalrus768 to join.
When it comes to flipping pancakes, it's better than burgers.
#10
Quote by system
were you the guy who did the song "now is the time" or something from 40,000 years ago? haha


lmao

the song... sounds real good man, acoustic and piano sound very nice. the vox, while you hit the notes pretty dead on, they seem shakey... its a minor prob because they sound good overall, just shakey

structure wise, awesome. doesnt ever really get boring, the loud part is pretty awesome

others have hit on the last solo... im not a fan of it.. the tone was bad and the notes didnt really do anything for me.... personally, i would end the song on a huge punch line so its like POW right in the kisser

overall damn good song man good job

but be careful about writing those songs about girls
Last edited by Non Boxed at Jun 29, 2006,
#11
I'm really digging this. Just right up my street - I like the piano bits. The guitar is simple but effective. vocal harmonies are spot on. But perhaps the best thing about this is that it keeps me interested - strange for such a long song. Well done. 8/10

htpp://www.olivergoldingmusic.com
#12
Very folky. I really like the seperated vocals and the melodies you chose to take. The quivering voice is also something I'm curious about. Is that your singing style or just the nerves of knowing people are actually going to hear it.

I actually kind of like the little solo at the end though I don't think it really makes any impact on the song. It works with or without it.

If you get a chance could you crit my song "Susanne"?

http://ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=385179
#13
i loved the quivering vibrato. gave it a real raw, emotional sound to it. evrything was great. vox, guitar, keys, wonderful. my only thing....the repetitive part to the solo around the 9:30 mark, speed that up...like 5x as fast that could sound really goood. nothing is perfect i the arts, so only 9.5/10. definately work to be proud of. if you released a cd, id buy it lol.