#1
I'm not sure I want to waste my second thread of the week on this one, but it needs all the critiquing it can get. Comment if you choose, leave a link and I'll get back to yours.

17 minutes and it still feels the same
I'm missing you and you aren't coming back
Where are you going, please oh stay
Someday I'll see you, for now...

17 minutes I'll never get back
17 minutes I'll always regret
17 minutes I'll never forget
For ever and 17 I will be here

17 minutes and I still see your face
I hate you but I still feel your touch
Wait, it's leaving, I want it to last
Again I will feel it, for now...

17 minutes I'll never get back
17 minutes I'll always regret
17 minutes I'll never forget
For ever and 17 I will be here

17 minutes and you are still gone
I love you can't stand you please go
Come back to me, my love, my home
Stay with me, and for now...

17 minutes I'll never get back
17 minutes I'll always regret
17 minutes I'll never forget
For ever and 17 I will be here

Ah now it's 18
I have to let go
I hate when you leave me
But right now, just go
Now is the time that we're both waiting for
For ever and 17 I will be waiting
#2
It's to focused on the number 17, it's to much. It's just really simple, it doesn't do anything for me. Your just really straight forward with it, and I like metaphors, and similies. Don't make your main focus rhythming.