#1
Verse:
For five years, youve been at the back of my head
haunting my thoughts
It wouldn't hurt so much if I
didn't see you every day
didn't see you every day

Chorus:
Every morninr I wake up and
think of you
Knowing that I'll see your smiling face
in 45 minutes
I'm out the door and there you are
front seat mirror down
front seat mirror down
I'm out the door and there you are
front seat mirror down
front seat mirror down

Verse:
over the years we've
seen each other
and every time was better than the last
i wish you could see things my way
it might change your life
it might change your life

chorus

Verse:
but now you have the best guy in the world
or so you say
i remember when
you said that about me
every day

chorus

bridge:
is there still a chance
i can't help but wonder
you were my first kiss
and i
wish you would be my next
wish you would be my next

chorus


if you want to hear this song preformed... go to
www.myspace.com/neweffort

the song is called
"every day, every morning"
Gear:
Gibson Les Paul Studio
Fender Stratocaster
Fender Telecaster
Boss TU-3
Dunlop Crybaby Wah
Boss OD-2
Boss TR-2
Boss RV-3 (best pedal ever!)
Boss BF-3
Line 6 DL4
Peavy Delta Blues 2x10
Fender Twin Reverb
Fender Blues Junior
#2
Meh. Nothing really struck me as solid gold.

I felt that the verses were poor. They didn't really do much except fill up space. The chorus bordered on alright. I felt alot of the line repetition was unnecessary and tedious.

Very simplistic piece. 6/10. sorry if I seem harsh.

If you could possibly crit back, "Come Clean" is still on the front page.

And thats me done for today. Goodnight to you all
#3
Quote by Jammydude44
Meh. Nothing really struck me as solid gold.

I felt that the verses were poor. They didn't really do much except fill up space. The chorus bordered on alright. I felt alot of the line repetition was unnecessary and tedious.

Very simplistic piece. 6/10. sorry if I seem harsh.

If you could possibly crit back, "Come Clean" is still on the front page.

And thats me done for today. Goodnight to you all



thanks man... it was my first post on here.... learn from experience...
but as to the repetition... check out the song on myspace....
tell me if you think it fits in their...
thanks again for the crit
and ill check yours out
Gear:
Gibson Les Paul Studio
Fender Stratocaster
Fender Telecaster
Boss TU-3
Dunlop Crybaby Wah
Boss OD-2
Boss TR-2
Boss RV-3 (best pedal ever!)
Boss BF-3
Line 6 DL4
Peavy Delta Blues 2x10
Fender Twin Reverb
Fender Blues Junior
#4
IN terms of "good" writing, it's nothing special but I thought that you had some brilliant moments of personality shine through

but now you have the best guy in the world
or so you say
i remember when
you said that about me
every day



I thought it could have been written "better" but I just completly understand the feeling you're trying to display. Overall, it's got potential but needs a lot of ground work.
#5
thanks man...
its my first post on here...
gotta learn sometime...
i like that line to...

ill get back to crit you soon
Gear:
Gibson Les Paul Studio
Fender Stratocaster
Fender Telecaster
Boss TU-3
Dunlop Crybaby Wah
Boss OD-2
Boss TR-2
Boss RV-3 (best pedal ever!)
Boss BF-3
Line 6 DL4
Peavy Delta Blues 2x10
Fender Twin Reverb
Fender Blues Junior