#1
Well this is a complete rewrite of the last song I posted. The name is a take on A nirvana song. Crit for crit.


I wish I was some one else
I am sick of being myself
What is there for me to do
I need to be more like you
I really tried not to care
In a circle stood a square
With no purpose of being there


I can?t fit in, And wont stand out
Tried to hard, Why wont it stop
I am I and you are what I want
I wont live with what I got
And I swear that it was done.
You are it and I am none
Last edited by guitar? at Jun 8, 2006,
#2
Personally, I don't really like songs of almost self loathing except in rare occassions of brilliance. I can see what you are trying to portray but I think it sounds like the protagonist is feeling sorry for himself more than anything.
#3
Not bad good take off of about a girl and nice name drop, but if thats the whole song it might be a little short
#4
Hmmm...I'm guessing it's supposed to sound like About A Girl by Nirvana (if I'm wrong, well then just move on) I was listening to the original while I read this and some of your lines were off from it...don't know if this was intentional but it was still good. I liked it...simple and to the point. I can relate to what you are saying here, which I like a lot in songs. It probably could be longer and more in-depth, but what you have is fine.

could you check out mine please? Overdose
Quote by Corwinoid
Metal doesn't hold hands, it gets head in the van before the show. Seriously.

Originally posted by tyler 417 714
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#5
Quote by Screech
Hmmm...I'm guessing it's supposed to sound like About A Girl by Nirvana (if I'm wrong, well then just move on) I was listening to the original while I read this and some of your lines were off from it...don't know if this was intentional but it was still good. I liked it...simple and to the point. I can relate to what you are saying here, which I like a lot in songs. It probably could be longer and more in-depth, but what you have is fine.

could you check out mine please? Overdose



It does not really sound to much like it. But the name was kind of a tribute to the song. Anyway which lines whrer from it? I will make sure to get tho yours later tonight.
#6
Quote by guitar?
It does not really sound to much like it. But the name was kind of a tribute to the song. Anyway which lines whrer from it? I will make sure to get tho yours later tonight.


well you said it was a take on a Nirvana song...About A Girl was just my guess and I figured that you may have made it the same tune...I guess you didn't
Quote by Corwinoid
Metal doesn't hold hands, it gets head in the van before the show. Seriously.

Originally posted by tyler 417 714
Quote by (-) Ions
There's a band called tool?

Quote by NewWaves
People still watch MTV?