#1
Depression and anxiety
All bottled up inside of me
(take it out, take it out)
Before it takes control
The pain and pleasure that I feel
Are giving me an urge to kill
(let it out, let it out)
Today you meet my maker

Ive finally lost my mind
But I dont mind
Cause I am my own sacrifice
My neck is on the line
I'm going blind
Bloodshot has turned to blind

Cat caught your tongue?
Or did you swallow it yourself?
I hope you f.ucking choke and die
Next time ill see you in hell
I'll stand right over your grave
For my own cremation
I'll make sure your body burns with your soul

Ive finally lost my mind
But I dont mind
Cause I am my own sacrifice
My neck is on the line
im going blind
Bloodshot has turned to blind

Im on a rampage
Im on a rampage
Im walking down the road of self-destruction
Im on a rampage
Im on a rampage
Im walking down the road of self-destruction
#2
Quote by fallout_girl
Depression and anxiety
All bottled up inside of me
(take it out, take it out)
Before it takes control
The pain and pleasure that I feel
Are giving me an urge to kill
(let it out, let it out)
Today you meet my maker

Ive finally lost my mind
But I dont mind
Cause I am my own sacrifice
My neck is on the line
I'm going blind
Bloodshot has turned to blind

Cat caught your tongue?
Or did you swallow it yourself?
I hope you f.ucking choke and die
Next time ill see you in hell
I'll stand right over your grave
For my own cremation
I'll make sure your body burns with your soul

Ive finally lost my mind
But I dont mind
Cause I am my own sacrifice
My neck is on the line
im going blind
Bloodshot has turned to blind

Im on a rampage
Im on a rampage
Im walking down the road of self-destruction
Im on a rampage
Im on a rampage
Im walking down the road of self-destruction



It was cliched, only part I didn't mind was the tongue part.
Constructively, dont EVER use the word "bloodshot" in a song, it was awesome the first five thousand times, but yea, not so awesome anymore.
#3
Good, somehow this seemed different from other hate songs. Mybe it is a little too dark
#4
liked it, maybe a bit marilyn manson-esque. I normally dont like stuff with dodgy rhyme schemes, but this was ok. I dont quite understand what your gonna do with the irregular amount of lines though.
VENUSIAN
FB SC BC TW
Patterns In The Ivy present ethnicity on an intriguing and dedicated level. ~Ambient Exotica
A mesmeric melange of yearning voice, delicate piano and carefully chosen samples. ~Lost Voices
#5
I don't usually like dark songs but this one really caught my attention. I absolutely love this song. The only part i think you should change is the stanza that starts out "I've finally lost my mind" I just don't like how all of the lines are supposed to rhyme. otherwise great job.
crit for crit? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=374022
~gtrfrk


founder of the dunlop pick fan club


RIP Roger "Syd" Barrett


"Let the good times roll"