#1
These lines just kinda popped in my head while I was peeing and thinking about going outside tonight. I'll probably change em around a bit. Just thought I'd share, I had been listening to some Buddy Guy so they're bluesy but unfinished and unnamed.

Got a million stars above me
Cold green grass below
Been searchin' for awhile, now baby
Still ain't found a home
Now darlin' can you help me?
Can you lead me the way?
You'll be my yellow brick road
I'll be your lovin' man to stay


A bit new to this so tell me what you think. Crit for Crrit.
I Dig Music.


Quote by insideac

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#2
Pretty damn good. It has a bluesy feel to it for sure.
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#3
yeah dude like BB King style...play a little sing a bit I do that all the time and this is pretty rockin.
#4
should i go ahead and dub it "Yellow-Brick Road"?

Where can I crit yours?
I Dig Music.


Quote by insideac

Okie, I like you too
#5
I'm sorry for bumping this up but I think I need more help and such, any suggestions?

Sorry if your cranky and flame me for renewing this.
I Dig Music.


Quote by insideac

Okie, I like you too
#6
Try some repetitions.

Repetitions add a lot to a bluesy feel; so far this one feels a lot like a 60's psychadelic type rock song.
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#7
thats good i guess. I like that kinda music.
I Dig Music.


Quote by insideac

Okie, I like you too
#8
i must agree with the repetition thing not much else i know, i started on blues but have moved on since sorry lol
Songs working on :

Nitelife
#9
I wasn't really even trying to write a blues song it kinda turned out that way. With the music I may write for it I could probably turn it in to a disco song if i wanted. Thanks for the suggestions but I'm not a giant fan of the repetition thing, sometimes but definetly not always.
I Dig Music.


Quote by insideac

Okie, I like you too
#10
its good, definitely a blues feel to it, i just thought, 'can you lead me the way' was kinda awkward english, u could change it to 'help me on my way' or 'lead me on my way' something lke that if u understand what im sayin?
#11
I kind of meant that part to be a talk/sing/yell thing, it sounds good in my head right now thanks for the help
I Dig Music.


Quote by insideac

Okie, I like you too